"Unfeeling (the merrigoround)"

Life just has a way of kicking me in the ass sometimes, it really does. *HUGS* Thanks for reading.
"Unfeeling (the merrigoround)"
doubts herself
doubts her trust
fate be a fickle foe
trust such a small thing
in such a large world
we are all betrayed in this life
if only by ourselves
yes i said my heart betrays me
yeah just when i thought i was
unfeeling and safe
locked somewhere where i
could no longer feel pain
something had to call me forth
and force me to live again
what is this life to me
where am i going to be next week
will she be up or will she be down
merrigoround
doubts herself
doubts her intentions
eyes are such weak creations
sight such a small thing
in such a sea of abandonment
we are all blinded in this life
if only by ourselves
yes i said sometimes i like to forget
yeah just because it's safer that way
unfeeling and safe
but then i remember there's
a million people like me
facing this same kind of pain
and i never want anyone
to hurt like that again
what is this life to me
where am i going to be next week
will she be up or will she be down
merri go merri go merri go round
doubts herself
i doubt myself
i doubt my strength
i doubt my will to live
i doubt my character
i doubt my emotions
i doubt my instinct
it's all failed me before
i'm such a weak creation
i'm such a small thing in such a
cold world
we are all forgotten in this life
if only by ourselves
yes i said sometimes i want to hurt myself
just so i can beat you to it
unfeeling and safe
i want to be unfeeling and safe
sometimes i want to be unfeeling and safe
sometimes i want them to lock me away
in a state of stasis
til this is all okay
what is this pointless life to me
where am i going to be next week
will she up or will she be down
it's an endless ride
on the merrigoround