In his ever expanding quest,
For faster net downloads,
Jay began to dabble in the obscure,
He travlled down dangerous roads.
Not content with a T1,
He went for a T2,
The T3 was next to be tried,
He went for anything new.
But hearing of his preoccupation,
Was a surgeon with a shady past,
He said he could implant a cable,
And do it cheap and fast.

So, Jay forked over four thousand,
And proferred his clammy head.
The surgeon said, "You misunderstand,
It goes in you a$$ instead."
So, with a shrug and some trepidation,
A feeling that stubbornly lasted,
Especially when the rectal probe,
Bore the logo of the Poetry Bastard.
But Jay was restrained by now,
He couldn't move an inch,
He was committed to this action,
He didn't even flinch.
Then the doctor whipped off his beard,
Revealing Evil Owl,
But when he let Ymir into the room,
Poor Jay started to howl!
Then the rest of the Bastards entered,
Led by a grinning Doom,
She was taking photos for her site,
Her camera set to zoom.

Let this be a lesson Jay,
Or else you'll end up like this.
If you keep crowing about your modem,
You'll be the subject of our bliss.

Just kiddin'. Couldn't resist. :)

Cheers from the land of Oz