Project

The words flow, yet not again,
Things fly far apart,
I don't know where to begin,
That's a start.
The flying noise,
And then a crash.
A flying nun?
Strapped for cash.
Watching money fly from my hands,
Into the task
Out of the way
I'm at loss, who to ask?

A single hard kiss
Flowing through the night
Cols, so far away
Freezing death
Sliding
Into burning passion
A slip into death
Brought back with a touch
A slip of love
A caring feeling
The bliss of birth
A pain on death and a drink to life
That deep, strong kiss
Strumming through my head
Heart flutters
Heart murmurs
Pumping blood
Plumping to the spot
Passion divine
The single hard kiss that started it all

been here a year (ish)
thank you for not murdering
me in the night time

I think of you as I fall asleep
I see you in my dreams
I look at the way I want you to be
I desire you near me

I think of what you would be like
I dream of meeting you finally
I look to know you truly

I hope to see the man of my dreams
I think I’ll see him in your eyes

I know I want you by my side

Sometimes I wish
Just not to be myself
To be able to say those things
To do those things
I'll never be able
To be able to look
To be able to feel
Things would never be
The way they are
I could wrap my arms around her
I could go under the knife
Feel the holes pierce my skin
The needle injecting ink

Sometimes I wish
Things were just a little different
That for some reason
Just because my hair was green
I could be just a little mean

Sometimes I wish
In the middle of the night
I wasn’t me
You'd be in my place

Sometimes I wish
I could just fall asleep
Wake up different

Sometimes I wish
I'd be alone

My Muse
I have a muse that doesn’t come
She sits in the corner
Her dark blue eyes wide
Her mouth forms words
She chooses not to speak
Tempting me and laughing
She torments my dreams
Laughter rips though my sheets
The cold sliding through my fingers
I fail to pick up my pen
She mocks my horrors
And giggles at my dreams
A scream latches to my pillow
Cold laughter escapes her lips
Her glittering locks flow
Her mocking smile glistens
She beckons and runs away
I chase her and I stumble
My words escape me yet again

Sometimes I wish
Just not to be myself
To be able to say those things
To do those things
I'll never be able
To be able to look
To be able to feel
Things would never be
The way they are
I could wrap my arms around her
I could go under the knife
Feel the holes pierce my skin
The needle injecting ink

Sometimes I wish
Things were just a little different
That for some reason
Just because my hair was green
I could be just a little mean

Sometimes I wish
In the middle of the night
I wasn’t me
You'd be in my place

Sometimes I wish
I could just fall asleep
Wake up different

Sometimes I wish
I'd be alone

I have a muse that doesn’t come
She sits in the corner
Her dark blue eyes wide
Her mouth forms words
She chooses not to speak
Tempting me and laughing
She torments my dreams
Laughter rips though my sheets
The cold sliding through my fingers
I fail to pick up my pen
She mocks my horrors
And giggles at my dreams
A scream latches to my pillow
Cold laughter escapes her lips
Her glittering locks flow
Her mocking smile glistens
She beckons and runs away
I chase her and I stumble
My words escape me yet again

sometimes i wake up in the middle of the night
i think not of my fears
but someone holding me tight

his body beside me
her breathe in my ear

i dream of the ones in my future
who will they be?

long, red hair to twine with mine
strong, muscled arms holding me close

silvery laughter
a low chuckle

it fades from me
i fall back asleep
the things that come to my dark and alone

Thank you

The ice started to melt
I saw you with worry in your eyes

Each time I spoke
Pain radiated from my words

My heart was a block
I thought that it would never heal

I thought love was impossible,
But you made me see

The first time I heard you say those words
I felt the tiniest crack

Heat rushed in
The rest soon was free

I felt your touch and tasted your kiss
I knew I could love again

Looking into you eyes
I knew I’d be ok

Looking at the screen
Thinking of you again

I need to tell you something
A few choice words

Thank you.

Motion

Motion besides me
Moving along
The tears that drive me
Stare at the sun

Emotions behind me
Words that run dry
The fear that surrounds me
Loose and undone

Words run through me
Thoughts leave me by
I try, look around me
Causes me to cry

Motion behind me
Emotion run dry
The fears that surround me
The tears sting my eye  

Confessions of a Cutter

My lips yearn for a single kiss
My body longs for a touch
My tears scream to be heard

Nothing comes my way

Sliding out of my eye
A moan escapes my lips
I stopped for a while
I lapse back to easily

In anyone
All I see is cold

My heart has thawed
Now yearns for love

Nothing comes my way

A piece of metal calls out my name
Sliding perfectly into my skin

I confess that I enjoyed it

Yearning for it again

I admit it guiltily
Arguments ensue

The tears I want don’t come
A new pain takes hold

I confess I want to again
Nothing else feels right

The blood beading
Red against my pale skin

The confessions of a cutter
Only end with death  

You think you have it tough,
Nightmares in the dark.
You know nothing of fear,
Till they come to you in the day.

Images of you friends
The ones you love the most.
Broken, bloody,
Comatose.

During the day,
In class.
Whilst giving a speech.

You know nothing of pain,
You know nothing of fear,
Till the middle of the day.

You who is scared of the dark,
I fear the light of day.

I can turn to no one,
I stay composed,
I hide my pain.

shoot me i'm fucked.
the last thing i had begun to believe in is all but gone.

he feels betrayed,
i have never felt trusted.
who woulda thunk?

for since ever,
since he had such a doubting attitude.

never felt as if this would work.

i feel drawn back to nc
to ky
to other places.

i hear my parents,
they're talking about me.

fucked again.

they're almost to the point of argument.

i just wanna be shot.

today the thought of cutting came back.
i nearly picked up a razor.

pills are my friend...
no they're not....
yes.

it comes back to where i was months ago.
back to where i had worked so hard to get out of.
worked by myself,
because i didnt know how to talk to others.

i think i need a stay in teh hospital.
i dont know how to bring that up.

those i want to run to
are working out their own stuff,
or are the ones that are mad.

i never know where to turn

shoot me i'm fucked.

Vampric kisses in the dark,
Bloody tears,
Naked as stark.
A flowing wound
Never stops.
A single cut,
Flowing for ever.
An onset of love.
Passion longing.
Tongues sliding together,
Skin pressed close.
Caresses of tender care.
Flowing till death.

I feel the claws rip and tear at me
My flesh is weak, but my soul is strong
The pain is real, yet the claws don’t seem to be there

Metallic structures tear at the claws, trying to get in

Passing the claws they bite into my skin
Puncture wounds litter my arms,
Knives slice my legs

The blood pours from my body
Tears stream from my eyes

I cry out, but no one hears me or seems to care

Blood pours out of my eyes and I begin to gag on salty tears

Streaming into my mouth, pouring from my pores
The taste of life leaves my mouth

Darkness closes around me and I am finally free

Shards of glass pierce my heart
Metal rods slice my soul
The ice breaks and tears well up
Rivers run down my cheeks
My vision clouds

I gasp to breathe
I fall to my knee
Gasping and choking on what’s not there

I cry out in pain
No one hears
They see me fall
No one helps

I die slowly
I die in a dream
It’ll be forever
Living in fear

Forget

Forget all about me,
I’ll forget all my pain.

The sweet release of death.
You’ll forget,
I’ll be free.

For a brief moment,
Maybe you’ll care.
For a brief moment,
At least I’ll have a moment.

A crying heart.
Eventually you’ll forget,
I want to give it away.

Three more tears slide out.
You don’t see them,
I wipe them away and forget.

I forget the happiness,
I see you live with it.

I wish for my dreams,
I see you achieve yours.

I drown in my sleep
And finally see my dreams.

Disturbing,
Haunting,
Watching her shed her wings.

The elegance,
The sorrow,
The cause unknown.

The secret smile
Sliding across her face.
The pain showing
Deep in her eyes.

I watch the angel
As she sheds what makes her,
Her.

Her white garments slide from her body,
Her skin perfectly bronzed.

A dark cloud sheds rain,
The wet darkening her auburn hair.

That smile becoming broader.
Changing into a grin.

A silvery laugh
Sprinkling the air.

Words that strike my heart,

“I love you, so I am leaving…”

Something always happens to come crashing down.
We were speaking of fun and happiness
And then he brought her up
A choke ran through his voice.
He signed off,
Less than five minutes later.
Just off the phone,
Telling me that I would be the only one.
Talking online,
She gets brought up again
Tears sting me again,
I haven’t cried in over a week
My heart hurts again,
A way that I never wanted to again
He yearns for her,
Tells me he wants me.
Tell him that I’ll be there in any way I can.
He signs off.

AcdQueen89My back hurts,
My sides aches.
My head,
Pounding, pounding
The pain lives on.

The classic depressed poetry.
I have to find a change.
Something happy...
no, but just not sad.
Depression has done me in.

The classic cutter who's managed to stop,
Relapse into pills.
Only so long till i die.

Classic misunderstood child,
living in dark.
trying to talk,
trying to stop.

Classic depressed girl
sitting on pins & needles