I read with howls of laughter,
Your testosterone post,
You have managed to call my bluff,
You are braver than most.
Let me deal with the softer points first,
You must be used to that,
The we'll move on from there,
You'll be the mouse and me the cat.
You ay your corp is multinational,
Of that I have seen no proof,
No documents or logos,
So I think you are a goof.
You say you'll keep moving houses,
To another that's new,
We'll be right there alongside,
Moving right with you.
You forget that I've been 'round longer,
I think you are a sook (Oz for wimp),
I am the expert on how to party,
I wrote the Drunkard's Book.
You say you have a major religion,
I say, "Oh, good grief!"
Religion counts for nothing,
Unless you have belief.
I do not believe in your religion,
I worship a higher being,
The Almighty Beer Brewer,
That I'm always seeing.
And as for your mutants,
That scary, rotting horde,
I start to think of what they'll do,
Then I get really bored.
For, I have a powerful weapon,
For you it is in store,
The power and the savagery,
Of my mother-in-law.
And as for the Teletubbies,
They shall lie bleeding and still,
I'll throw them one by one,
Into their windmill on the hill.
You say that no-one's badder than you,
No-one badder ever seen,
You're so bad you'r pathetic,
The worst I've ever seen.
Do not challenge me so lightly,
For I am a Dad at home,
I have defeated worse than you,
As cross the land I roam.
For, the life of the domestic engineer,
Is a dangerous one,
You are surrounded by ancient perils,
And in multiples they always come.
I deal with wet and poopy diapers,
I wipe the dirty bottom,
I make bottles of sumptuous formula,
The best she's ever gotten.
I do washing and then ironing,
I prepare most meals,
I soothe her when she's upset,
The better she always feels.
So, my days are brisk and treacherous,
It hardly seems remotley fair,
You are insignificant in comparison,
You cannot hope to compare.
So, begone you miniscule annoyance,
You give yourself too much credit,
You may like to remove your post,
It I would gladly edit.

PB Legal Department - this poetic piece was
authorised to be psoted in response to a light
hearted challenge. In no way is it to be taken
seriously. The provocation "So come on, try
and fuck up all my houses, poetry boy"
has been deemed a legitimate challenge to
arms, hence, any response supplied can
be deemed acceptable.

Cheers from the Land of Oz