Thursday, June 9, 2005

People trust me, respect me, turn to me for help
They count on my friendship knowing I'll be there for them
I'd do anything for any one of them for nothing in return
And some would do the same, for which I am blessed
But it seems thats all I can be, all I'm good for and nothing more
Most seem to only value me for what I can do for them
Never, it seems, do they want me just for being me
Sometimes I want something more, to share more than just friendship
To know what it would be like to be cared for, and more than just a "How's it going"
I feel like all I am is second string, I'm stuck in the background below notice
I'm like the stray dog everybody will play with but won't take home
It's like my feelings are brushed aside, like they aren't important
Or worse, a bother, something to be loathed and avoided
I want to feel something more, I want to be more than just a friend
To be needed for who I am, just for a chance to be happy
I sit here, waiting, always alone even when I'm surrounded
'Cause I'm just a friend, maybe a best friend
And that's all I'm ever let to be...

February 19, 2006

 For George
It was snowing, the day you left
I awoke to a phone call
The reason, I thought, was for another
My eyes were still closed
When I found out yours were too
I opened them to see the snow
And knew yours never would
You’ve left before your time
Before even your father could say goodbye
I’ll miss you uncle, and the toys you gave me
I miss the years that have gone by without you
I wish you could see the snow
So I could say goodbye

Monday, June 6, 2005

If I say anything, will I push you away?
But if I stay silent, will you slip away?
I'm not a master of puzzles, especially those of the heart
I can't seem to figure it out, I'm afraid of being a problem
'Cause I really care about you, what you think, how you feel
'Cause I cherish your friendship, I value your trust
Part of me wants to hold you, have your heart next to mine
Tell you how beautiful you are and how I love the way you smile when you meet me
How you laugh and play with me, how you hug me tight when I leave
Part of me is afraid to tell you these things, afraid I'll loose your friendship and trust
I never want to leave these things behind, I'm so torn and confused inside
'Cause it seems that when I care for someone, they always turn away from me
So what to do? Should I keep quiet and wait to see what happens?
Or, do I take a risk and maybe loose it all by following my heart?

Flip Flops

Velcro, fabric, and rubber,
makes a weapon like no other
They're small and flat,
produce quite a *thwap*,
it's enough to make you snap
You might be lead to think,
as it's wielder playfully winks,
who throws a shoe?
But then you'd be wrong,
for a shoe it's not
It is the dreaded Flip Flop!

"Things"

I think of all the things I'd like to say
Of all the things I'd like to do
It seems so easy
Like things will go all right
But every time I see you
I loose myself when you look at me
What can I say or do
I'm afraid to hurt you
Because...

I love you

To Know

I can't seem to find a way
To tell you all the things I can?t say
A burden I feel they may seem
A burden I never wish to be
Words fail in what I would say
The things my pen cannot convey
I'm afraid to trouble you
I just don't know what to do
I know what my heart says
But I feel my mind has lost its way
I feel so confused
I just don't know what to do

No matter what problems I have today
Or ones from days before that
I know none of it makes a difference
Cause I know, no matter what
Tomorrow will be a better day
I know, because when I wake in the morning
I always think of you.

"I, Samurai"

Lay down my life, before I lay down my sword
Lay down my life, before that of my friends'
I bare my soul to protect, to serve those I love
I bare my soul, for this world, for all

I am Samurai.

I should be in bed. A thought troubles my head. I grow weary and my eyes become red.
Should I say? And come what may? To know the light of her day?
Or should I not. And stay distraught. And let it be all for naught.
And what if I do tell? And things go well? Would that not be swell?
But what if it is doomed to fail? And it comes to no avail?
And yet I wonder what she may think. To want the same and only wink. I am at the brink.
I need a place to rest my head. Where my decision does not lie dead. To know where I will tread.
Fear like no other grasps my heart. Doubt begins to start. Everything is dark.
I fear what I may lose. What shall I choose? When will I be free of this noose?
My mind wanders and is lost. Will I be able to pay this cost?
I should be in bed. This thought troubles my head. I grow weary and my eyes become red.

I can’t breathe.
My lungs fill with no air, I don’t care.
All I can do is stare.
Words fail me, I can’t speak.
Nothing happens when I think.
My chest feels empty, I can’t miss it
What you took with a kiss
I can’t breathe.

And you know, one day I'm going to...say something.
Other than “Nothing.”
Cause I have many things I need to say, but don't.
Maybe I’m afraid, or won't?

But I ramble, given to long winded discussion.
Cause I can't handle the repercussions.
I'm going crazy over a single word.
Something I’ve never said, something I’ve never heard.

Love.

“Echoes”

There’s an echo in my soul
I feel hollow inside
I try to hide it from your eyes
But my face never lies
I fear things have gone awry

And yet there is hope
Something to help me cope
A light not bound by its rope

Cause the time I spent with you
Echoes through it all.

If only…

There is nothing I can say to tell you how I truly feel about you,
if only you could feel my heart.
There is nothing that I can give you to show you how much I care,
if only I could hand you my soul.
There is nothing I can do about my thoughts for you,
if only you could know my mind.

If only…

Love

I've got two.

Don't know what to call either of them. I've posted one of these before, but I really like it, and it pertains to the subject matter.

Poem 1

I should be in bed. A thought troubles my head. I grow weary and my eyes become red.
Should I say? And come what may? To know the light of her day?
Or should I not. And stay distraught. And let it be all for naught.
And what if I do tell? And things go well? Would that not be swell?
But what if it is doomed to fail? And it comes to no avail?
And yet I wonder what she may think. To want the same and only wink. I am at the brink.
I need a place to rest my head. Where my decision does not lie dead. To know where I will tread.
Fear like no other grasps my heart. Doubt begins to start. Everything is dark.
I fear what I may lose. What shall I choose? When will I be free of this noose?
My mind wanders and is lost. Will I be able to pay this cost?
I should be in bed. This thought troubles my head. I grow weary and my eyes become red.

Poem 2

And you know, one day I'm going to...say something.
Other than “Nothing.”
Cause I have many things I need to say, but don't.
Maybe I’m afraid, or won't?

But I ramble, given to long winded discussion.
Cause I can't handle the repercussions.
I'm going crazy over a single word.
Something I’ve never said, something I’ve never heard.

Love.

Moment

If only I could live forever in a moment, spend eternity in the blink of an eye.
An eternity in a moment with you, an entire lifetime in a second shared together.
Forever is never long enough; it passes quickly in your arms.
I could be happy, as long as you spend a moment, with me.

Eyes

My heart stops, my mind comes to a stand still, the world ceases to turn.
My body turns transparent, my soul becomes clear.
I can't hide anything from your eyes, you see right through me.
Never have I felt this way, all my existence bared, and I don't care.
If there is such a place as heaven, then it is in your eyes.