Now...all this chit chat back and forth is very nice...but if pushed my beautiful poems to the bottom..and no one is reading them....so again I say...what about ME??!!??!!

*grin*

here...make me feel better and read this really strange poem I wrote last night...hmm... A Poem just for you!

Nightmares
Sometimes I just sit in mundane existence,
Less than whole.
Isolated,
Detached from the circle.
Having dreams,
Feigning existence,
Rainbow colored visions hang upon the wall,

Shattered nightmares fall to the ground
Artificial memories run through my mind.
And demons escape
Into my reality.

Not seeing them for what they are,
I feel found.

Being lost in the world
Alone and afraid
These demons understand me
Holding out a hand
I feel complete

A false salvation

Being told I have no future
I fall into the past
Into the grasp
Hearing the lies as truth
The truth as lies

Remembering things not what they were
While the harmony altars

Nothing to perceive
I walk these halls of make believe

Rejoicing at having the hurt eradicated
Taken away
I walk from this place
Blind
Hand in hand
With my nightmares

August 18, 2000


yup...strange wouldn't you say?

:)

Ever and always
Me

I am slowly disappearing,
Less essence to what I am,
Since you don’t see me.

And I bump into strangers on purpose,
Just so they will glance,
And after time
Even they don’t notice.

My voice whispers in your ear,
And like a small bug
You shoo me away.

As I disappear a tear drops from my eye,
To land on your hand,
You look into the sky
And say it looks like rain,

So you go inside,
Locking me out,
Since you didn’t see me.

And I stand out here,
In the raindrops that are really my tears
And after awhile, even those are gone.


k.a.Stryker © 6:00pm July 20, 2001

Love

When you are happy,
I am happy.
Knowing there is a smile
Upon your sweet lips
Draws a smile on my heart,
And I know this is love.
Silly how I feel sad
When you are sad.
It breaks me inside,
I want to crawl into you,
And warm that spot.
The sadness,
The dark colors,
Brighten them,
And make you smile.
And I know this is love.
When you want to talk
I want to listen,
And be there for you
A sounding board,
For all life’s frustrations,
Aggravations,
And as I listen to your soul,
As you listen to mine,
We know this is love.
k.a.Stryker ©June 27, 2001 10:45pm

Sanctuary

I lock the door at night
To be safe,
Only to find I have locked the monsters in,
And I now have no escape.
As they grin their evil grins
They surrounds me,
Surround me with my fears.
I scream,
But it comes out as a laugh
My neighbors only smile,
Taking my fear for joy.
And inside I cry
As I sink to the floor.

---------------------------------

Escape

Running
The sound of my feet
Bare feet on gravel
I can feel the stones beneath
Sharp, they dig into my flesh
Painful
I run.
Gasping for air
The sound of my breath
Loud in my ears
Lungs ache
Gasping
I run harder
Running
From my fear

k.a.stryker ©June 26, 2001

Time passed by,
He stopped when he saw me,
“Hello” he said, very polite.
“I see you need a rest, sit back for a stretch.”
I sat in a chair that time provided,
He lay a hand across my brow,
“Rest for but a moment.”
I closed my eyes, just a moment,
A blink.
I looked around,
Time had moved on,
I was left behind,
I thought that he would wait.
But I suppose I never really
Expected it.
It just now seems so unfair
After all, all I did was blink.

k.a.stryker ©June 13, 2001

Love

 It’s a funny thing,
Like when he smiles at me,
That certain smile,
And I know just what he means.
But I always ask,
It’s a game we play.
He knows I already know,
And he knew that I would ask.
“Why are you smiling?”
He laughs,
“Because I love you.”
It’s a funny thing.

k.a.stryker ©June 12, 2001

Memories

Water rolls down my back, reminding me of feathers on a goose, and a down blanket we once shared. And this reminds me of your love. The tears fall from my eyes, blurring all I see. I don’t know what is real, or where I am, so I stretch out my hand, and nothing is there, but the walls of the shower stall, as water rolls down my back.
k.a.Stryker © June 11, 2001

Silence

 I hate that I never know what to say.
Standing here in silence,
Seemingly silent,
But the words are inside.
I don’t know what to say.

When you look at me that way,
I know what you mean,
Words are not needed.
As I look into your eyes,
I feel what you feel.

If I surrender to this feeling,
Will I be lost?
Or will I be found?
I am scared,
It is all so unknown,
And I don’t know what to say.

K.A.Stryker © 10:30 a.m., June 1, 2001

I am Dreaming

Standing on a path,
A tree.
Gnarled roots, like bars
Blocking my way.
Black vines reach out,
Like snakes
Slithering around me,
They surround me.
I close my eyes in despair.
I can feel the blackness,
A murky fog
Thick in the air,
Makes it hard to breathe.

I am dreaming.
I am awake.
I do nothing to escape.

K.A.Stryer © May 25, 2001

Down which hill did a small child roll?
If I ask you will you know?

His laughter carried through the air,
And the dew on the grass clung to his hair.

Playing there all the day long,
Rolling in beat with a rhyme and a song.

In the field with all of his friends,
Playing and rolling until the day ends.

Down which hill did a small child roll?
If I ask you will you know?

First date

*laughs* A really bad poem, but here you go. =)

First Date

Goodness gracious
Me oh my
I’ve got something in my eye

I’ve not been trying to flirt with you
Just thought that you should know
So please stop winking back at me
I really have to go

Goodness gracious
My oh me
I’ve just gone and hurt my knee

I’m not trying to take your hand
I’m not going to propose
Now let me get back on my feet
I’ve got to blow my nose

Goodness gracious
Me my oh
Darnit, I just stubbed my toe

I do not want to dance with you
Let’s get off the dance floor
I need to find me a Band-Aid
And run out the back door

k.a.stryker March 22, 2003

I have walked through this valley before,
Not knowing what I was doing,
Or who I was,
I was always alone.
Only with thoughts,
Memories,
Of who I was before,
And the lessons
I chose to take with me.
And the lessons
I chose to forget,
They make me anew.
Though I am indeed still me,
For that is the one thing I will always be.
I can not be who I use to be.
I can not change the things I did.
If I choose to learn these lessons well,
I will like who I am,
I will love the life I lead,
I will conquer my destiny.
As much as I can,
As much as you can,
If you would reach out,
Take hold,
Grab up what you will,
Leave the rest behind.
Except for distant memories
Of deeds done,
And lessons learned,
Be what you will,
I will be what I can,
We are only what we perceive,
To be more or less,
Would simply be, a lie.

K.A.Stryker March 21, 2001 9:05 AM

Hate

Stupid, slimy and most annoying!
I hate everything that you are.
The feel of you at night keeps me awake
Driving me insane

You build up inside my head
And I ache to be rid of you, all that you are
But to no avail, the more I push the more you stay
Driving me insane

I try to kill you, numb you away
You are there still, dripping down my face
I hate you, all that you are
Driving me insane

*sneezes*

An ode to snot

=)

Years

Ok, so I wrote a poem and I was gonna post. I can't seem to find it now.

So - I thought we could do the whole word poem thing. You give me a word and I write a poem. Then I leave a word and the next person in line makes a poem about that word and so on and so on and so on...get it?

Um, yeah. So I shall grab a book here off the shelf and randomly point to a word on a randomly chosen page.

*closes eyes and walks over to shelf*

*hits knee on table*

*%#^&!! Opps, sorry. Maybe I should make my way over to the shelf before I close my eyes.

*closes eyes and grabs book* Hmm...Soul Rider book five by Jack L. Chalker, interesting choice.

p.182 - I pointed at the word years. So without further ado a poem for you.

-----------------------------
Humbug to you, it's off the cuff. =P
----------------------------

Years


Years go by,
sailing on time.
Passing on a gust,
carried away.
Watch out the window.
See for yourself.
Gone by,
sailing on time.

Sylvin
There is only one requirement,
You have to be here until the end.
Along the way do what you will,
Be who you are,
Or not.
In the end it doesn't matter,
All that mattered was that you were here at all,
That was the only requirement.

I want to write down my thoughts,
I want to mar
Then you, untouched
Then you can read
As they dig
As they mingle
I can pretend,
I can walk away.

There was a time, not that long ago,
He took me by the hand
Ending all the loneliness inside.

Everything was out of whack
Now, when I am far away
Decisions that I make seem hollow.

I know that it is best, farther away
So on I keep walking.

Never forgetting what was,
Ever forgetting what will be,
Aching for release
Reminding me, the end is near.

Sometimes all I can do in enormity of life,
is stew in the entirety of it.
So many feelings, like flavors, fill up my senses...
drowning out all thought,
sanity is but a string hanging out of reach.

Seven days

I never got to hear you cry
Such a silly thing to miss
Your smile I’ll always wonder
Your lips, I’ll want to kiss

Your hugs I’ll never get to feel
Your hands I’ll never hold
The image that I have of you
Will never grow up or old

I didn’t get to hold you lots
Never got to know you well
So sick and weak that you were
So tiny and so frail

So beautiful and wonderful
The love I felt was strong
I prayed with all my life
That your own life, it would go on

You couldn’t stand to struggle
You couldn’t make a sound
I knew that when I looked at you
For heaven you were bound

So we took all the tubes off
The wires we took off too
And we held you in our arms
And we gave our love to you

You tried to cry, but were to weak
I cried when you could not
And I held you while you left this world
With the pain you felt, I fought

My thoughts were all on your life
I had never wished you harm
And I cried a thousand tears that night
That god took you in his arms

I’ll cry out loud, cause you could not
When I think about your days
I’ll remember as often as I can
In many different ways.


Though seven days was way to short
And I’ll always wish for more
I thank the lord for each one
And my heart will feel less sore

Less sore with each happy thought
I think and have of you
For those days filled up my heart with love
Even though they were so few

Thank you for what you gave me
Thank you for the life you had
Forever and always I’ll love you
For your life I’ll always be glad.

I will hold your little twin sister
I have one instead of two
And I will cry out loud cause you could not
When we remember you.

K.A.Stryer February 9, 2003

I was looking through an old journal the other day, I thought I'd share some stuff. =)

 --------------

Sometimes all I can do in enormity of life,
is stew in the entirety of it.
So many feelings, like flavors, fill up my senses...
drowning out all thought,
sanity is but a string hanging out of reach.

The Tea room at the end of my closet...

The Tea room at the end of my closet... To the Unwashed Villagers...*Grin*
Not yesterday or the day before
I walked into my room
Looking for a place to hide
From all upcoming doom

Underneath the bed was small
The dresser drawers, well, no
And then I knew, quite suddenly
Of just the place to go

I opened up my closet door
Wide enough to see
Deep inside this cosmos
A room made just for me

A refuge from the outside world,
It keeps me safe and warm
Books and Tea, and cookies too
Nothing here can harm

So if you ever find a time,
You need escape, from doom and gloom
Go to the end of my closet
And share with me, my own tea room

K. A. Stryker