Welcome to the Unwashed horde,
You'll find us a pleasant bunch,
You Black Marketeering shall be useful,
And that's an educated hunch.
I'm glad to see a new mature member,
I'm an old fart through and through,
You see, I'm even more decrepid,
Because I'm thirty two.                                                    

But being a Unwashed is not all fun,
For the likes of you,
We have a nasty little ceremony,
For all those members new.
Firstly, we cover you in goop,
From the Gun Runner's pool,
Then we dress you up like a hedgehog,
And you must play the fool.
Then it gets really nasty,
You'll see that oh so soon,
You'll be getting an unpleasant visit,
From the senior called Doom.
For she possesses The Pointy Stick,
She'll use it again and again,
I hope that you have a high threshold,
For withstanding pain.                                                    

But most of all I'd like to salute you,
On behalf of the horde,
I'd like to welcome you to our group,
Feel welcome to post on the board.                                                    

Cheers from the Land of Oz