The Unwashed have again set the standard,
Challenging international cultures,
We turn the dead into something useful,
We are society's vultures.
The latest foray into the dying,
Deals with the holidays,
Countries will soon see our point,
And the errors of their ways.
Take that jolly ol' Santa Claus,
He uses his cunning wiles,
To encourage children onto his lap,
He's one of them paedophiles.
Then there's the Easter Bunny,
Hey should pay for his sins,
We've all hear about the hare and the tortoise,
The tortoise always wins.
Which brings me to my next point,
One the world should heed,
The bunny and the dirty old man,
Encourage people's greed.
Where is the spirit of giving?
Why can't we simply share?
We need a new holiday icon,
To help us all to share.
Earlier I mentioned the deliberate tortoise,
A terrific to find,
But I left out the noble turtle,
Who's also true to his kind.
Thus, I present Bert the Turtle,
A hero to us all,
The present binary junta of greed,
Shall shatter and then fall.
Bert visits the boys and girls,
Who follow ethics so good,
But he encourages caring and sharing,
In our neighborhood.
Effort is the important thing,
Often that's all it takes,
Bert sees our humble humanity,
And that we make mistakes.
The bad people aren't forgotten either,
A present in his bag,
But forget that shiny gattling laser,
They get radioactive slag.
So, to here he's similar, but,
He sows the sharing seed,
He helps restore our human kindness,
And eliminates our greed.
For every present you ask for,
You give another three,
Thus, the sharing spirit has,
Been bestowed on thee.
He speaks of how to shield yourself,
From harmful radiation,
And though his teachings aren't correct,
He's now quite a sensation.
In black and white, both day and night,
He preaches, "Duck and Cover!"
And we gather round to join the fun,
Unlike most any other other.
The reel which spawned him still exists,
In the Atomic Cafe movie,
I suggest you rent it at the store,
And hope you find it groovy.
Night Owl's links page has a site,
Which extolls Bert's advice,
Just download it and take a break,
Then hear it once or twice.
It really is the crowning point,
Of the film on nuclear war,
And I hope they haven't sold it,
At your local rental store.
So listen to the turtle,
And hear his story well,
For at the next "Duck and Cover!"
He'll retreat inside his shell.                                                    

So, all hail the humble Bert,
Into the limelight hurled,
He's an icon that we can believe in,
An Unwashed gift to the world.                                                    

Cheers from the Land of Oz