The Making of an Untitled Poem

This first draft was written June 15, 2003, and is by far the longest of all versions. It is also the only version to come to a bitter end with the Gin Blossoms reference "Congratulations, I'm sorry".
We stare at the ceiling
When we're looking for love
We sell our soul to below
And ask forgiveness from above

I'm tired of the silly fights
Tired of the bragging rights
And my love lies sleeping
While I stand by weeping

I stare at the walls
Looking for a lesson to learn
I gave my heart away
Guess it's not your concern

I'm sorry that I took your time
Sorry I thought you were mine
Congratulations
You win
Congratulations
I'm sorry again

This draft, written the next day, sees the second and fourth paragraphs removed, and a tacked on ending that trails off, unaccounted for. The wording of the second paragraph changed as well, keeping the observational tone of the first paragraph, rather than turning personal.

We stare at the ceiling
When we're looking for love
We sell our soul to below
And ask forgiveness from above

We stare at the walls
Looking for a lesson to learn
We give our hearts away
Like it's not our concern

I don't sleep
I'm so tired
I don't eat
I'm so hungry

Over two months would pass before the final version was written, removing the tacked on ending in favor of a personal observation in line with the rest of the poem.

We stare at the ceiling
When we're looking for love
We sell our souls to below
And ask forgiveness from above

We stare at the walls
Looking for lessons to learn
We give our hearts away
Like it's nobody's concern

I stare out the window
Looking for her at the door
But she doesn't walk
By here anymore