I'm here tonight as a friendly face,
Offering all some advice,
This is due to my kind disposition,
And a propensity for being nice.
There is an evil weapon here,
Being used with great glee,
If you should encouter ever it,
Remember this advice from me.
The sharpened stick was mysteriously created,
Many years ago,
It was fashioned from unique materials,
From a planet I do not know.
The gods were very angry then,
As frustrated as can be,
They had so much time on their hands,
Having not yet invented T.V..
So, they set to work on creating,
An evil sort of stick,
The kind that would command respect,
Of the educated and the thick.
This weapon was deadly sharp,
Entrancing, an amazer,
It's wickedly glimmering point was,
Sharper than any razor.
But the gods soon feared this device,
And sent it off to Hell,
They wanted no part of it,
It terrified them as well.
So, off to heaven it was couriered,
By armed and guarded post,
Heaven took one look at it,
And returned it to its host.
The stick was back with the gods,
And it caused them so much mirth,
To simply drop it from their hands,
And let it fall to Earth.
The stick it cartwheeled merrilly,
Before penetrating the ground,
It buried itself so deeply,
Never to be found.
But the gods had not considerefd the apocalypse,
It arrived so very soon,
And one day when outside th vault,
It came into the hands of Doom.
Doom grabbed it and tested it,
And like everything that she saw,
A weapon of such grace and power,
Promised much to one so poor.
So, she shouldered the mighty weapon,
The future would be quashed,
She came across the band of people, 
Referred to as Unwashed.
They welcomed her, and her stick,
With a cautios sort of glee,
"You are very welcome here, but,
Don't use that thing on me."
So, Doom considered the options closely,
As she's prone to do,
And decided to spare the current members,
And use it on those so new.
So, new Unwashed members here,
I hope you care two hoots,
When you see that Doom approaches,
You should quiver in your boots.
For, she will aquaint you with the pointy stick,
It really is a shame,
You will come out a changed individual, 
Never quite the same.
And to the current members too,
Do not step out of line,
Or the pointy stick will pay a visit,
In a very short space of time.                                                    

Cheers from the Land of Oz