"leftovers"

don't give me christmas trees
and tinsel taped to the walls
it doesn't make up for anything
all these years spent inside
a frozen puddle has left me
in a dizzy spell, in a personal hell..
just like everyone else,
left me
[leftovers
could feed them to the dog
but the dog is dead and gone
dead and gone and buried to me
and i'm the leftovers]
i try to smile but it isn't that
time of year anymore for me
used to warm me up used to make me
want to sing along with all the bad
Christian Christmas songs but it's
left me awhile for those who deserve a smile
just like everyone else,
left me
[leftovers
pass them on to the family
a family i don't know and don't care to
have known them all of my life,
and they still don't know me
though i am them, their leftovers
and i'm the leftovers]
once i wore an angel dress
i can barely even remember back then
innocence has long since abandoned [left me]
and for once in my life
there's no lights burning on Christmas night
everything has left me to my own device,
to the inner ice, to the part of me that used to see
the part that dreamed that i was all right
but that soul has left me
just like everyone else,
left me
[leftover
why is it you
always feel so unwanted dear?
is it the way they pick at you,
is it the way they ignore you,
is it the way they discard you
the way they disregard you..
yes, i understand all too clear,
i'm the leftovers]
tell me,
what is this monster that gnaws at my veins
inside the empty gap within me?