"if i could"

I'm really feeling just.. I don't know. I'm just a mess at the moment.
*HUGS*
Thanks for reading.

"if i could"

for the first time in so long
someone has challenged me
and my little throne of misery
suffering so sour made so sweet
shards of a person so incomplete
but you say i've none of the faults i see,
what do you know,
what do you know of me?
if i could let you,
i would let you throw this all away
if i could let you,
i would let you make me unafraid
if i could let you,
i would let myself be saved
if i could let you,
if i could let you,
if i could let you find a way
oh, can no one see
the sky and the ground
are one for me
trapped in my kaleidoscope
such hurtful beauty
[himemiya, himemiya anthy]
if i could let you,
i would let you break me free
if i could let you,
i would let you save me
if i could let you,
i would let myself believe
if i could let you,
if i could let you,
if i could let you lend me sanctity
i'm too sick to die and too weak to stand
scorning every helping hand
because they don't know the nightmares
these flames have fanned
[and if i could, i wouldn't deny them that innocence]
if i could let you,
i would let you keep me here
if i could let you,
i would let you stay near
if i could let you,
i would release my fear
if i could let you,
if i could let you,
if i could let you hold me dear
someone save me from myself
someone save me from myself
someone save me from myself
someone let me drown in me
i love my chains, don't want to be free
and all i need to live is my misery
someone save me from myself
no, abandon me with me
for i feel the way it's always been
is the way it should always be.