I read your lengthy treatise,
And enjoyed it with great relish,
It had everything anyone could want,
With some imagery to relish.
I had some favourite parts though,
As is wont of a Bard,
There were mentions to food and beer,
And a slippery BASTARD!
Seriously, though, you've done well,
You've unearthed a sparkling treasure,
Any old gems you should post,
For our reading pleasure.
One thing that I have thought now,
And you really should know,
You haven't become a bastard recently,
You were one long ago.

(it seems) 
                                                  

:) Great job. 

Cheers from the Land of Oz