And first time I have actually USED that title...

 For New Years, may I have your attention?
On this subject, I shall brook no dissension
I shall make it quite clear
That for New year's this year
My resolutions contain NO abstention
For though you may think it pretension
I gave up all vice
And some think I'm quite nice
Or is that just senile dementia?

BEAT THAT! A DOUBLE OVERLAPPING LIMERICK!