Chest constricted
Heart pounding
What is this feeling
So resounding

My stomach queasy
Now my chest heaving
Breathing
With trouble

Everything in white and black
Reversed
What are these feelings ?

I wanted the opposite of this
didn't I ?

To be up there
Lights gleaming
Faces leering
All eyes on me
Not a one I can recognize

To be seen
and not to see ?

No
How can I want that
I can understand wanting all eyes on me

But why just those two
Why care about being seen by them
and not seeing them

WHY
Why are my feelings so reversed ?
WHY
Is everything in that instant
so vivid
Why does it effect me so

hiding
stealing away from everyone
I hide my feeling
my new realization
hold it close

And now and then open up my heart
Look at it
and wonder.