Ummm...I just wrote this now. I am not sure if I should even share it yet. As writing it was like taking a knife and opening a vein. More personal and more painfull was writing this poem I think.

It is about something personal and with adult content...so please...do be warned of this...

I am shaking as I even type this part here. Umm...Maybe it is wrong of my to share it...But to be honest...It is the only way I can share it...The anonymity of the board and all...

Anyway...you were warned...

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We lay in each other’s arms at night
Holding one another near
You reach for me in that way of yours
I say no, please not this night
You smile in that way of yours
I say no, please not this night
You caress me in that way of yours
I say please, not tonight
You turn away in that way of yours
Annoyed in that way of yours
Irritable in that way of yours
I am use to this
I know my cue
As if on call I feel guilt
I reach for you to let you know
I love you, but please,
Just not this night
You turn to me
Plead me with words
Not hearing my own
I hate your words
You caress me softly
Seeking to bring forth my desire
I am grateful for the dark
It shrouds my grimace at your touch
I hate your touch
You caress my body
My neck
My stomach
I flinch at your touch
To hide this
I try to moan in pleasure
Sounding like a gag to my ears
You hear what you want
You try to kiss my lips with love
I turn away
Not there, use me
But not there
Your kisses mock me too much
Pretending of love
If you loved me
You would see
Even in the dark
My body still says no
You kiss me more
You move down
Please not there
I hate your kisses
You take me now
In the moonlight I see your body
I hate your body
I hate my body
You use me now
Done
You turn to me
And kiss me with love
Murmur sweet words
I hate your words
I turn away
And cry
I am a shell
A used up shell

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umm...again...I needed to share this poem with someone.

Thank-you
or sorry
depending on how you feel after reading it. :)