I sit here pondering vacuously,
Ten month old asleep at my feet,
Her angelic face is one of innocence,
Her manner is so sweet.
So, I thought I'd advise you all,
I'm in a fatherly mood,
On what you really should feed children,
Displaying their favoured food.
There are five food groups for babies,
But not the ones you're taught,
What's better is that they are free,
they don't need to be bought.
the first food group is merely lint,
They find it on the floor,
They scour all over the carpet,
Then come back for more.
The second food group is insects,
Any sort of bug,
Beetles, flies or cockroaches,
They swallow them with a shrug.
The third group is leftovers,
Anything that is dropped,
They find these mouldy morsels on the floor,
My God! They can't be stopped!
The fourth group is any paper,
But don't let your mind bend,
It is high in fibre and low in fat,
And comes out the other end.
The fifth group is your pet,
It doesn't matter what,
they'll bite your little Tweetie Bird,
Your Moggy or your Spot.
So, in short, have children,
Your spirit should be freed,
They are great to have around,
An oh, so cheap to feed.                                                    

Cheers from the Land of Oz