If you want a war
You won't be disappointed
But I choose weapons

I have always felt that haiku
Is far too weak of a poetic form
But what should we expect from you
The self-proclaimed lower than worm
And so I now suggest to you
You give up your poetic career
And return to trying to get a view
Of some poor Villager's rear
And perhaps one day yet to come
You can return, with all new skill
And with nothing more than my thumb
I'll once again crush you, what a thrill
But until that day, be off with you now
I grow bored with this, witless cow.

Perhaps not a perfect sonnet, but reasonably close for under 5 minutes work.