Moment

If only I could live forever in a moment, spend eternity in the blink of an eye.
An eternity in a moment with you, an entire lifetime in a second shared together.
Forever is never long enough; it passes quickly in your arms.
I could be happy, as long as you spend a moment, with me.

Thise poem is entiteld:My Window (not based on a true story :)

Out the window
what do i see?
Shadows No.
It chould not be.
But it was, to my
despair, a ball
that shouldent be there.

My Windom , broken
My hope still here
My life NOT shatterd,
WOW WAS THAT A DEER!!?

=)

A poem just for you! :)

 *HUG*


A shadow on the mountain
For all to see
If I drive through that shadow
Will I still be me?

It seems something significant
Should happen I find
While going though shadows
As dark as my mind

I’ve learned as I run
From shadows that be
There are always ones darker
Inside of me

As I run from the shadows
That fill the outside
Ones on the inside are growing
Quite wide

And I know that erased
I will certainly be
From the earth, cause of shadows
Inside, I can’t flee

K.A.Stryker -2000-


ever and always
Me

I dream

I stand at the waters edge,
Staring into the deep,
Imagining what it would be like,
To drown,
To be held down,
Water forming around me,
Molding me anew.

My toes test the water,
Teasing me,
Lapping at my skin,
Tempting me to step in,
Seeming so harmless.

But I am not as naive
As the water takes me for,
I know this is not my answer.
But I dream,
Of floating away,
And having it all
Washed away.

The wind,
Taking my sails,
Spreading me out to sea,
Like a bird in the clouds,
Wrapped in loving arms,
The water caressing me.

That tenderness is a façade,
As the waters form the mountains,
Cut rivers into the rock,
What would it do with me?
My tender flesh?
So I don’t float out to sea.

But I dream,
That I could just float away,
Maybe one day.
k.a.stryker © June 1, 2001

With my quarter century
But one year away
I celebrate the day
Of my birth today
I have this ritual
I perform every year
And this time I've written it
In the verse you see here
Each year at this time
I pause and take thought
Of all that I've learnt
And all that I've taught
I think of the person
That I have been
And all the wonders
That I have seen
I think of the ones
That I hold dear
And cherish them all
Though far or near
Of what has happened
This year gone by
I think and allow myself
A heartfelt sigh
The highlight was when
My wife gave birth
To a gorgeous young man
Who fills me with mirth
This year I have spent
Watching him grow
Time passes so quickly
I ask where did it go?
I juggle commitments
Which isn't so hard
I spend time with my son
And to hell with the yard
With a newly built house
There's much work to be done
But I'd rather play with my boy
We have such fun!!
Other things have happened
Both good and bad
Things which have made me
Both happy and sad
But all in all
This year has been good
I am confident that I
Have done all I could
To enrich the lives
Of my family and friends
And as this year
Draws to an end
I ponder what will
The next year bring
What reasons to cry
What reasons to sing
From what I have learnt
How to improve my life
And how to keep
Myself out of stryfe.

Chocolate Hands

There is chocolate smeared on my hands,
Melted and sticky.
Not long ago I held a heart.
You gave it to me, showing your love,
Love we once shared.
I held it close to me and cried.
Now all I have is this,
Chocolate smeared on my hands.

Anthem
Trying hard to fight
But it's hard to stand up
With both hands always tied.
You're wrong.
I never wanted to hide.
That's why i hate living
In this perfection disguise,
For I am unholy,
And I am obscene,
Guess I'm just one more
Self destructive teen
Bound up and ground up
In the society machine.
This is my word.
So shall I scream.
Come to me if you're seeking to fight,
I'll destroy all you demons
Who took control of my life.
Beat you, submiss you,
Cut you while i kiss you
Love you as I love only I.
For once, I'm going in
Without my hands tied.

As written left-handedly (it's a pasttime now =P) in math class today.
Notes added underneath:
Another descent into madness poem.
I guess the Beast found some words to tell her wrongs.

La.

*HUGS*

I am all alone now,
my parents they are both gone,
my father on a buisness trip,
my mother to a wedding,
the house is mine now,
but as i sit here and yawn,
drinking a soda sip by sip,
i wonder why i should feel so alone ?                      

I have things all set,
money to last for grocieres,
food packed away in a fidge yet,
but seriously,
it may seem a bit ironic,
i seem to be living on my own,
for a week and two days,
just me and me alone,
yet it doesn't seem so great,
without someone here to share it with me.                      

So i sit here,
my cheer slowly fading,
i'm posting to a web board,
paitently i am waiting,
i need something interesting,
for the next three days,
i will be listening,                      

after that i am off,
i have classes school is not naught,
so every morning i will get up,
at seven o'clock,
however i fear,
this bright glowing thing,
sitting here in front of me,
will keep me up,                      

i am not looking foreward,
to my classes you see,
i've got algebra,
and computer C,                      

so i may have to cut my time here short,
i'll try to be a sport,
but half my day will be gone you see,
i'll be a school,
writing not so merrily,                      

It seems this attempt at a poem,
has run overlong,
but i have no choice,
a am a mere part of the throng. :)                      

Thanks for the inspiration Ymir !                      

In Need of Cleansing

My life is somewhat complicated,
Stress seems my every way,
I am plagued by incessant uncertainty,
Complication rules my day.
Other scream and hound my being,
Dusaster follows close,
Anger drives my frantic fear,
With cynicism so verbose,
Enough of this mechanised constricture,
I need to feel my worth,
I need to be at one with life,
I need a complete re-birth.
Thus, Ibrek these tedious shackles,
Leave my life behind,
Gather together my trappings,
And myself to leave and find.
On Grand Cayman Island, mon,
The water crystal clear,
Where running out of lobster,
Is my one and only fear.
My labours are now investments,
The past is old hype,
The water shimmers inviting aqua,
I drink a red stripe.
I walk to the cleansing water,
Feeling at once whole,
It penetrates my very being,
And cleanses my broken soul.
I thank the Lord for this invention,
His words I can almost hark,
"Take these gifts - the water,
And that very hungry shark."

SEAMS

'Twas a dark day
until the sun bled
through the sky
leaving a jagged
rift in the atmosphere
and the clouds...
Softly, gently
ash fell drifting
through the air
and in a white flash
everything was turned
upsidedowninsideout
everythingbackwards
everythingnothing
everynothing
disappeared as my eyes
melted away and at last
I could truly see
not the world
not heaven not hell
but everything
but nothing
all in the same
instance, hiding
behind a veil
of secrecy
a conspiracy
ravelled so taut
it had no seams,
but was one...

Life, it seems, is a seam.

Vegemite, the great
Australian spread,
Which all foreigners
View with dread,
It tastes quite nice
When it is taken
With a healthy dose
Of moderation
The taste of it is
Quite strong, you see
So one thing always
Perplexes me
When introducing people
To the stuff
Must we always
Act so tough??
Why do Aussies
Spread it so thick
It is not mortar
Nor the bread a brick
Just a mild taste
Of Vegemite and cheese
Not overpowering but
a gentle tease
My toast and sandwiches
I enjoy this way
And so, to you,
This I say:
When first trying it
Don't use too much
Apply it with
This is the secret
To enjoying your lunch
So follow my advice
And time will show
That on you, this
food will surely grow.

After

She says "You seem happy"
I say "I'm not"
She says "Why not then?"
I say "I forgot"

I say "Stay a while"
She says "I gotta go"
I say "Why?"
She says "You already know"

She says "Will you be ok?"
I say "After a while"
She says "I really hope so"
I fake a smile

I say "Guess my time is up"
She says "I'm afraid so"
I beg "Just a little longer"
She says "I'm gonna go"

I am your passion, your undying dream
I am your confusion, nothing’s as it seems
I am your hope, how it used to brightly gleam
I am your depression, I am the extreme.

I am your delusion, what you think you are.
I am your confidence, a painful scar.
I am your potential, a collapsing star.
I am your downward spiral, we’re gonna go far.

I am your aspiration, what you want to be.
I am your illusion, what you think the others see.
I am your esteem, you can’t count on me
I am your mind, I can be your destruction or I can be your key.

not some of my best work but I figured "why not?"

It's a never ending ball of power...
Too much power,
Makes it sour...
3 'o clock,
By the hour...
Thunder hits it,
People cower...
Burning always without shame...
Never write,
It's bleeding name...
Starts to spark,
A towering flame...
This is not,
A freakin' game...
Starts to show its evil smile...
Everyday,
At every mile...
Works real well,
For a child...
Never calm,
Always wild...
Its gates start to crowd around...
I try to scream,
There is no sound...
I punch the steel,
And hit the ground...
Its victims' die,
They're never found...

your constant prodding me in the nearves with your 'god's gift' attitude has finally woken me up,
I see through your now obvious stupidity and lack of good judgement,
why did it take so long to figure it out that your nothing but a waste of space,
everyone's laughing at you can't you see? they think your one big joke to be walked over,
and you let them you asshole,
you let them get the better of you claiming that you're the bigger man for not fighting back,
but it's them who have the last laugh,
god your pathetic, just look at you,
ahh fuck it I should stop staring in the mirror so hard...

I seeh the conundrum,
Facing this group here,
The names are all too difficult,
Things are far from clear.
So, I think it's time to apply,
A soution from over here,
Let's just call everyone Bruce,
]And that will keep it clear.                                                    

Bruce.
Bruce ....
Bruce!
(Beer being opened)
How are ya Bruce?
(beer being opened)
Bruce!
Nice day, Bruce.
(Beer being opened)                                                    

Hah, off sick again today, 
Too much time on my hands,
But as I walk about aimlessly,
At the computer I always lands.                                                    

Cheers from the Land of Oz

At The Waters Edge

Smooth, reptilian, soaring,
a gull wheels away from this rock
leaving the scraps I was throwing,

and settles again in a flurry
of foam and plumed air. The wild seaweed
crawls crimson and green in my shadow.

The gull's flight aches in my shoulders.
It will suffer no change, cannot offer
itself to be changed, cannot suffer:

the forms born of earth are supported
by earth, body-sheltering, guiless.
"What is truth?" asks the heart, and is told:

You will suffer, and gaze at the fact
of the world until pain's after-image
is as real as pain; all your strength

will be fretted to grains of distress;
you will speak to the world; what you offer
will toss upon evil and good

to be snatched or disdained. You will find
all nature exhausted as beauty
though radiant as mystery still.

You will learn what was breathed into dust
the sixth day, when the fowls of the air
wheeled over your flightless dominion.

"What is truth?" cries the heart, as the gull
rocks in changeless estate, and I turn
to my kingdom of sorrowing change.

Water

I sink into the waters Of life, Washed away of all I am not, Named for what I am. Standing before you, Water drips from my skin, Revealing all. Tears from my eyes, Cleansing my soul, I give myself to you, As I sink into the water of life.
K.A.Stryker © June 1, 2001

Just for perspective, here's Mel's side of the story (in some cases, such as mine, anyway).
I know a little about computers,
At least more than my colleagues do.
But I've never said that I know all,
I've never claimed to be a guru.

So people come to me first,
Whenever their PC dies.
I do what I can to fix this,
And silence their anxious cries.

But of course, I'm not a tech,
And I doubt I ever will be,
So when I can't solve your problem,
Don't come crying to me.

Call the techs yourself,
Or I will, I don't care.
It's not my job to fix it,
Don't blame me, it's not fair.

When you put me through the training,
When I get my degree,
When I'm working on the help desk,
Then you can come to me.

So I will call the techs,
And together we will try,
To fix your PC and ignore,
My In-Tray stacked so high.

Don't get me wrong, I'm happy,
To convert your MSWorks file.
Just don't forget that I've got,
This whole other work pile.

So talk to me if you must,
I'll do whatever I can.
But if the problem is too complex,
I'm just not your man.

I'll talk to the techs,
In terms they understand,
At least, I won't mistake,
A hard drive for the LAN.

I have no problem asking for help,
My reputation's not at stake.
But I'll learn what I can from the tech,
For personal interest's sake.

So call the tech, I don't care,
How good's your Mac at home.
Let them deal with your ignorance,
And just leave me the hell alone.

Cry of Raven

Tears are shed,
The Raven is dead.   
It was the grand illusion..   
All in her head

She soared to high
And didn't know
It was all in Her mind
A real big show

Decided to come back
To the safety of ground
She flew over water..
No earth to be found,

So sad to know
That she'd made a mistake
Plunged into the sea
Lost in it's wake.

All is not lost
Her spirit still flies
On a moonlit night,
You can hear her cries.

She cries for the love
That she thought she once had
A beautiful person
and handsome young lad.

Her life will move on
As his will too
She's said her farewell,
A final adieu..

Vampric kisses in the dark,
Bloody tears,
Naked as stark.
A flowing wound
Never stops.
A single cut,
Flowing for ever.
An onset of love.
Passion longing.
Tongues sliding together,
Skin pressed close.
Caresses of tender care.
Flowing till death.

"Parental Advisory"

father, how these days ebb
from blossoms i have grown
mother, warm the snow away
showers of stars i have left behind
i have fallen like the leaves
mother, lift me from the baren soil again
the new death has touched me
father, grant me solstice
My seperated seeds,
My parted bangs,
Come together now
to sing my spirits from the trees

Todays the day

Todays the day,
I waited for
Its the day,
I wont Ignore
It is the day
Of a Lifetime

The day today
Is the day after
yestorday.
du'h you think
and walk away.

The days, a day,
witch night is not,
Alright you exclaim!
Someones got a job!

Todays the day,
A fine day, perhaps
A day in witch nothing
really lacks.

Youre car is shining.
Youre shoes are too.
Youre boss give you a rase.
You give you child one too!

Todays the day, no wait its not!
Its still night time,
Youre dreaming you slop!

This is a dfferent style of writing than I am used to but it kind of fit the mood.
Surrounded by darkness
I cannot see
Momentarily numb
In a vault I hid
Or so I thought
Then you appeared
Out of the blue
The light burst through
The drapes I had shut
Rays of sun
They shined at night
Once again
The darkness calls
This time I'll stay
And build up the walls
The drapes are closed
The doors are locked
I looked at the light
And thought it was real
So foolish to believe
That it could be right
The night it beckons
For me to sing it's song
It is there that I'll go
'Cause it's where I belong
You got what you wanted
I'm torn in pieces
The lump in my throat
From tears that flowed freely
It's still there
I don't think it will leave me
For my eyes haven't dried yet
From your hurtful words
I've tried
I can't block them
That double edged sword
Has now pierced my heart
Inserted and twisted
Underground I must go
I don't want any light
This battle I've lost
I'm all out of fight.

I feel the claws rip and tear at me
My flesh is weak, but my soul is strong
The pain is real, yet the claws don’t seem to be there

Metallic structures tear at the claws, trying to get in

Passing the claws they bite into my skin
Puncture wounds litter my arms,
Knives slice my legs

The blood pours from my body
Tears stream from my eyes

I cry out, but no one hears me or seems to care

Blood pours out of my eyes and I begin to gag on salty tears

Streaming into my mouth, pouring from my pores
The taste of life leaves my mouth

Darkness closes around me and I am finally free

She's a free bird
I never let her fly tho
I gotta learn to let her go

And when she's done with being free
She says she'll come flying back to me

Feet up & laid back
Coffee mug in hand,
Lord strike me blue
If it ain't true:
Ymir's a UNION man!

:)

Quite a few years ago
I met a Villager (Unwashed, I know)
An email he sent
To his webpage I went
Those words - heaven sent

To meet my mate
We made a date
Rush, don't be late
Fifteen years later
Life is Great!

Ravioli ravioli
You come from Boyardee
Ravioli ravioli
You're the greatest thing for me
To eat upon a summer's day
When all my family's gone away
Ravioli ravioli
How I extol thee!

Aria enjoyed her pasta canned
And shared with us her joy
Too bad it was from the folk who use
That disgusting smiling boy (...-ar-dee)

loneliness

Nowhere to go
Noone to turn to
Sat right here
And it’s so sad

Waiting for the day
When we will be one
A love yet to be born
But a heart that’s knows it’s close

Is that all I am a puppet for you?
To be discarded when bored
Or used when needed?
Do my feelings not count?
Am I just a thing?

You said you loved me,
Or was that just a lie?
You won’t fool me again
You can just go

You got annoyed when you couldn’t get your own way
You screamed and kicked and threatened
But I stood fast for once
And your attitude has shown me your feelings
I won’t be played again

It hurts to push you away,
But I know I must
You can’t keep using me
I need to be myself

I wish I never loved
But I did
I want to believe you loved me
But I just don’t know

So just go
Don’t let the door hit you in the butt on the way out…

Tears

Yes i'm writing this from the computer lab                     

at the collage, my classes are over i just                     

need to wait another hour and a half for                     

my ride to get here ...    

Tears                       

I feel cold inside, 
I want to feel but I just can't seem to, 
I should be crying, 
But all I have is alligator tears, 
The ones in my heart, 
They don't seem to exist,                       

All of my life has been more of the same, 
Year after year, 
Day after day, 
Everything stays the same,                       

I don't know how much more I can take, 
Things are so dark now, 
My visions are gone, 
Leave only the cold light of day,                       

No more bright colors I see, 
For today I feared life, 
More than I feared death,                       

Hope can be a terrible thing, 
To wait so long for nothing, 
Yet just a little leaks through, 
It keeps you alive so it never ends,                       

I don't know what to do, 
These poems used to purge me, 
Of the things I no longer wanted in me, 
Yet today, 
Like many of recent, 
Held nothing new for me, 
A few weeks before a celebrate, 
Yet another birthday this one being, 
Nineteen,                       

But I have to say, 
It's an empty party, 
No one will be there but me, 
Nineteen years of life with no change, 
Only the dieing of hope, 
Day by day,                       

You always can say, 
"It can't get any worse", 
But that helps none, 
When it never gets better,                       

I'm just this side of commited, 
Crazy enough to be locked up, 
Sane enough to not be noticed yet, 
But the day is coming, 
Something must happen to break this veil of death, 
I don't know what yet, 
But my end or my beginning is coming soon, 
If not one then the other, 
For I can't hold out any longer                       

. 
. 
. 
. 
Yeah i know it's depressing, but it's like                     

therapy for me, so other than that                     

what do you think ?                  

Log In

Log in, log on,
I am going somewhere.
Destination unknown,
Yet I am not scared,
Not worried of what will be,
Or perhaps what will not.
I look around
To see other travelers
Like me,
Heading forward,
And not back.
Occasionally we reach the end
And log off.
But for now I am on my road,
Straight and narrow,
Heading into the great beyond…
Where ever that may be.

k.a.stryker
September 26, 2001

bah...and off the cuff (REALLY REALLY BAD) poem

Just thought I would try one for you.

It was inspired by your hug! *grin*


Holding it safe
Asterisks
To keep it warm
This hug I send your way

One on either side
Like posts at a gate
Just so you know
This hug I send your way

More than a word
But an action
A feeling
Of friendship

Asterisks hold it safe
While it sits for you
Waiting to be read
For that is what it does

A word
It sits and waits
To be read

A feeling
On the screen
Waiting to be read

Read me
And hold me safe
Between two asterisks


:) *shrug* well...there you have it.

The walls are closing in on me
The room is getting small
The heat has turned up real high
The ceiling going to fall

Bring me down to the ground
My breath is leaving me
Sweaty palms, blurry eyes
I need to get free

My sanity is on a leash
Gets shorter my the minute
The nasea is building up
My thoughts have gone on pilot

Heart beat speeding up
My lungs are closing in
My head is getting lighter
The room starts to spin

I don't think I am sane
but then I am not sure
Are those pink elepants always there
right about my door?

------------------------

hmmm... ;P

its Raining

Water Water on my head.
Water Water in my bed.
Water Water evrywhere
Water Water over there.

I wish i brought an umbrella.

Our friend Ymir is really
A selfless kind of Guy
And from what I've gathered
He's also kind of shy
So perhaps we should give
Our friend some reprieve
Don't sing his praise too loudly
Else I fear that he might leave
But if anyone is aware it's I
Of how hard it really is
To contain one's admoration
Of the talent which is his
OK, I know that I may be
Some kind of hypocrite
But I must confess my awe
As my sides do constantly split
Whenever I read a poem
Funny or sincere
I must bask in the glory
Of the talent of Ymir!!

Keep 'em coming buddy.

Beautiful dreamer
Come unto thee
A passionate spirit
So wild and carefree.

Soaring so high
You're scared to land
Come to me now,
Please take my hand.

Together we'll walk
By oceans great shores
Take down those walls,
Stop shutting the doors.

You only see what your
Mind says is so
Was this all a game
Or a wonderful show?

Your lack of trust
Shows how much you care
I've no fear to tread,
Where others don't dare.

Your aware of my feelings
Yet, you still tease
Look into your heart,
Put me at ease.

Shards of glass pierce my heart
Metal rods slice my soul
The ice breaks and tears well up
Rivers run down my cheeks
My vision clouds

I gasp to breathe
I fall to my knee
Gasping and choking on what’s not there

I cry out in pain
No one hears
They see me fall
No one helps

I die slowly
I die in a dream
It’ll be forever
Living in fear

lost my purity

here's a poem i wrote at 3:30 this morning for my friend... i haven't given it to her yet, but i'm sure she'll like it... i'm going to make it into a song, and if anyone's ever hear ani difranco, it's going to sound (and already does in a way) very ani-esque...
lost my purity {by: bud newman}

i don't know exactly what i want,
but i do know how to go about it.
do you see me as who i really am?
ha! - i really doubt it.

should i be out there looking for love?
or is it looking for me as we speak?
it's hard to tell either way,
but i could sure stand to take a little peek...

they say love is out there, well i,
well i guess i've never seen it.
i'll snuggle up to anyone tonight,
as long as they'll snuggle back and mean it...

and i don't really need anything,
except maybe a little security.
why should i save myself for him?
i've already lost my purity...

(c) September 26, 1999

Lareth Synfeild
- Poetic Sammy from Hell

I'm here tonight as a friendly face,
Offering all some advice,
This is due to my kind disposition,
And a propensity for being nice.
There is an evil weapon here,
Being used with great glee,
If you should encouter ever it,
Remember this advice from me.
The sharpened stick was mysteriously created,
Many years ago,
It was fashioned from unique materials,
From a planet I do not know.
The gods were very angry then,
As frustrated as can be,
They had so much time on their hands,
Having not yet invented T.V..
So, they set to work on creating,
An evil sort of stick,
The kind that would command respect,
Of the educated and the thick.
This weapon was deadly sharp,
Entrancing, an amazer,
It's wickedly glimmering point was,
Sharper than any razor.
But the gods soon feared this device,
And sent it off to Hell,
They wanted no part of it,
It terrified them as well.
So, off to heaven it was couriered,
By armed and guarded post,
Heaven took one look at it,
And returned it to its host.
The stick was back with the gods,
And it caused them so much mirth,
To simply drop it from their hands,
And let it fall to Earth.
The stick it cartwheeled merrilly,
Before penetrating the ground,
It buried itself so deeply,
Never to be found.
But the gods had not considerefd the apocalypse,
It arrived so very soon,
And one day when outside th vault,
It came into the hands of Doom.
Doom grabbed it and tested it,
And like everything that she saw,
A weapon of such grace and power,
Promised much to one so poor.
So, she shouldered the mighty weapon,
The future would be quashed,
She came across the band of people, 
Referred to as Unwashed.
They welcomed her, and her stick,
With a cautios sort of glee,
"You are very welcome here, but,
Don't use that thing on me."
So, Doom considered the options closely,
As she's prone to do,
And decided to spare the current members,
And use it on those so new.
So, new Unwashed members here,
I hope you care two hoots,
When you see that Doom approaches,
You should quiver in your boots.
For, she will aquaint you with the pointy stick,
It really is a shame,
You will come out a changed individual, 
Never quite the same.
And to the current members too,
Do not step out of line,
Or the pointy stick will pay a visit,
In a very short space of time.                                                    

Cheers from the Land of Oz

Edmund

Here's a Tuesday Narnia poem, following up on my Monday. This one is about Edmund. Monday, posted in Arts, is Eustace.
 I ate Turkish Delight from Jadis’ hand, I freely chose each piece myself.
Driving splinters of ice through my heart, one by one
Impaled by diamond shards
Impossible to melt.

More and more
I wanted, of the honey-sweets;
But the cold gold tin of Delight
Was in her furs, beyond my reach.

Not a thought did I have for anything
But Delight. You could see
My eyes. The look animals of Narnia know.
Slave of desire, thrall of ice.

Delight numbed me with its sweetness. I could not feel
The spears in my heart, at first.
But my pallor deepened my shoulders shook,
Agonizing, pathetic, cursed.

I wept, with eyes of rock salt, stinging and blinded.
I surrendered my frozen heart, crying for the Lion.
I sobbed apology. And He loved me in his own sorrow.
With the blast of a paw, He bruised my chest.

And the diamonds became fresh water

Have you ever seen
the horizon burn
cotton candy colors?
It starts
with a pale blue
backdrop,
the clouds
a bright orange
which slowly radiate
outward to shades of
pink and coral
continuing on
to a pale blue
to match the sky
then fade to purple
with the outer
edges liquorice black,
and as the sun sinks
it all contracts
upon itself
color fading away
until the entire sky
is a mixture
of deep mauve
and liquorice highlights
when finally a pure black
overtakes the world
and appear those
pinpoints of light,
shining bright,
known as
stars...

Caught in a spider web
called time
I flow swiftly from strand
to strand
as the spider gives
chase; I flee
yet only from strand to
strand, never breaking free
his dark shape
looms behind me, seeking
to devour, make me one
with what I flee,
time beckons me, I
realize
I'll never be free
because it's destiny
to be a timeless memory...
Will you remember me?
Or will I fade into
the time of timelessness
unsung though immortal
as my mortality
melded with time
and you no longer know
me see me as I once
was known, you see instead
the hands of the clock
the falling of the leaves
the setting of the sun
the passage of an
old love story
told by your
grandmother
before she died
and left you, scattered
in the breeze as a cloud
of ash wants,
we know time
never dies
it's always nearby
waiting
for the well
to run dry.

Water

Running
Flowing
Life is flowing through me
Grabbing it, like holding a lightning bolt
It melts through my hands
I can't take back that lost essence
Of me
My life, is flowing away

Surreal.

He drinks alone in with his solitude
Another drink, he starts acting rude
The pain inside he hides so well
He's acting tough, you know, you couldn't tell
Inside the man, noone cares to look
To open the cover and read the book
So glass in hand, he has a drink
But never does he stop to think
He carries on the only way he knows how
He drinks all his wallet will allow
Through blood-shot eyes he looks around
Then passes out, without a sound
It was inevitable, a part of the deal
With life so distant, pain becomes...surreal.

Alone, at night, she walks in the rain
Just her, the water and the pain
The lightning flashes up in the clouds
She stands none too tall, acts none too proud
She weeps into her palms, her head hung low
The pain she feels none will ever know
She walks the deserted beach to hide
Trying to escape what she feels inside
She stumbles and falls across rocks and sand
But noone offers her a helping hand
"Pity" she thinks as she climbs the rocks
Once more removing her shoes and socks
But this time she sets her mind in steel
And as she falls it all becomes...surreal.

They walk together, alone in the park
The sit and talk and drink the dark
The bottle goes round and they all get high
The truth that is said is outweighed by the lies
The each have their reason but noone will say
Why they're trying to escape every night, every day
With the pain in their youth, all hope is lost
They drink and lie and steal, and to hell with the cost
So what if they get caught, that's a problem for tomorrow
It's worth the price for a moment without sorrow
They pass out or leave, one by one
The don't want to see their carnage by the light of the sun
Those who are left decide to nick some wheels
When the lights flash behind them it's so...surreal.

So I practise those lines that will not work
And as I turn my back, I can hear them smirk
Another night I spend on my own
It's not getting any easier, being alone
I get frustrated, angry and stressed
A couple more drinks and I just feel depressed
So I go home while everyone else has fun
I climb on my bike and I'm on the run
Nowhere to go, I just hit the highway
I ride all night and for most of the day
I take the corner too fast, I'll come off soon
If you don't live on the edge, you take up too much room
I ignore the cliff, focus on how I feel
And when the ground drops away it becomes so...surreal.

The connection is down
With no ICQ
I hate my server
'Cause I can't reach you.

This totally bytes
In fact it sucks
To rely on this access,
We're all sitting ducks.

Nothings been done
On my page today
Don't really care
Just wanted to play

I've reset my conections
Everythings right.
Why does this thing
Always give me fight?

It's teaching me lessons
On just what is where
Learned what's on my hard drive
I didn't know they were there!

By the time I'm connected
I'll be a technician
They don't need fiber optics
They need a magician.

It takes them forever
To fix one dumb mistake
I think they've taken
One too many a break.

This had better be fixed
When I sign on tonight
'Cause if it isn't
They're in for a fight.

Forget

Forget all about me,
I’ll forget all my pain.

The sweet release of death.
You’ll forget,
I’ll be free.

For a brief moment,
Maybe you’ll care.
For a brief moment,
At least I’ll have a moment.

A crying heart.
Eventually you’ll forget,
I want to give it away.

Three more tears slide out.
You don’t see them,
I wipe them away and forget.

I forget the happiness,
I see you live with it.

I wish for my dreams,
I see you achieve yours.

I drown in my sleep
And finally see my dreams.

Face in the Mirror

There's a face in the mirror
And I think it might be me
Everytime I look into it
It's right there for me to see

There's a face in the mirror
And I think it might be mine
It's kinda hard to tell though
Since it's always crying

Won't somebody save me
I'm going crazy
Locked up in here

Oh, won't you save me
It would amaze me
If you even came near

Rules of the Heart

Rules of conquest
In a battle of the sexes.
I watch the moves -
The feints
The parries
The ripostes....
But I cannot fight this war.

Rules of engagement
Shrouded in the fog of war.
I watch the manoeuvres -
Reconnaissance
Regrouping
Outflanking....
But I can see no fog here.

Rules of love
Where the intent is ever to deceive.
I know the lies -
Never leave you
Love you forever
Sorry....
But I cannot lie about the truth.

Rules of the soul
Where war holds no sway.
I am forever unarmed -
Exposed
Open
Defenceless....
But I remain undefeated.

Rules of emotion
The storm-lashed seas of the heart.
This is my world -
I ride the waves of anger
I sail on through the doldrums
I chase the sun's fire forever....
For there can be no landfall for me here.

The time has come," old Turjan said,
"To talk of many things.
Of Vertibirds and Ghoul attacks,
And Radscorpion stings."

"But Turjan," said the foxy cubs,
"You're just an aging fart!
What know you of violence,
The finest Foxy art?"

"Oh, many things!" the old man said,
"Nasty, cruel deeds.
And tales of woe so frightening
Where everybody bleeds!"

The fox cubs squeaked with glee at this,
They liked a gory tale.
They gathered at the old man's feet
With many a wagging tail.

Turjan raised his staff up high,
And wove a powerful spell.
The fox cubs cheered to see the sight -
"This story should be swell!"

Turjan's tale was gross enough
To make the fox cubs howl.
They danced and laughed and fell about -
The story was most foul.

And all the while the magic grew;
It made the fox cubs sleepy.
And one by one they nodded off....
It really was quite creepy.

Darkfox twitched a furry ear;
His cubs were awfully quiet.
He walked to where old Turjan stood,
But saw no vulpine riot.

"Oh Turjan have you seen my cubs?
I swear I heard their yelps.
I worry for their safety 'cos
They're such mischievous whelps."

Turjan merely looked around,
But answer gave he none.
And this was scarcely odd because
He'd eaten every one.

There once was a poster called Night Owl
Who posted some posts that were most foul
I tried to compete
With his poetry so neat
But gave up and threw in the towel

Eh, off the top of my head at this hour,
what did you expect? Sophistication?
Maybe tomorrow. (yawn)

A question for our good friend, Ymir.
To submit a poem, do we have to post here?
I could post what I've got,
Which is indeed, quite a lot.
Don't want to be a pain in the rear,
So should I include plenty o' beer?
For I would be most distraught,
If what I post was for aught.          

And if you include directions,
I can send sugary confections,
To make the villagers hyper,
And enjoy putting Grim in a diaper.
While making him look at his reflection,
As he is hit with massive rejection.
And we rejoice to music of a piper,
But not Xamphir, or I will be a sniper.          

;)          

*suddenly siezed by a twitching lip*
why thank ya. thank ya very much.
uh-huh.
*lip stops twitching*          

Uh-what just happened there?  

Eyes

My heart stops, my mind comes to a stand still, the world ceases to turn.
My body turns transparent, my soul becomes clear.
I can't hide anything from your eyes, you see right through me.
Never have I felt this way, all my existence bared, and I don't care.
If there is such a place as heaven, then it is in your eyes.

Age is not the important factor,
In this critical debate,
I happen to have a rule of thumb,
That is really great.
When you by a used vehicle,
From the used car lot,
It's the mileage that matters to you,
The age - not a jot.
                

faint roadwear upon my face
makes sure you know I ran the race
if not the victor, lack the spoil
I purred like kitten
leaking oil                

burma shave

My mind (echo)
Is an enemy,
Of mine... (echo)
It does (echo)
What it wants,
To do... (echo)

I am the portal,
Sucked inside out,
Through bodies of glass...
I am the gateway,
Just follow me,
It's all I ask...

I can do you a favor...

Rip you from reality,
Take you through a place in time,
To become split infinity...

I am the hole,
Jump inside
and free your mind...
I am the menace,
That could destroy,
All humankind...

I can do you a favor...

Rip you from reality,
Take you through a place in time,
To become split infinity...

I am your guide,
Through this,
Twisted wicked world...
I am lost as well...
Watch my plan,
become unfurled...

I can do you a favor...

Rip you from reality,
Take you through a place in time,
To become split infinity...

Echoes of Yesteryear

A silghtly contrived Fallouty poem....I'm bored.


There is a danger in the Wastes
It comes from arrogance and hate
It reaches out with long hard fingers
To drag us down into war

There is a horror from the past
Old technology left to fate
The energies that laid the world low
Brought back by long-lost lore

There is a cruelty in the eyes
And a sneering smile of late
In the countenances of leaders
Who have power yet want more


Echoes of yesteryear haunt us
Chase us through our sleep
Strike us with blasted deserts
Even as mutants nearer creep
Water turns to poison
The ground is cracked and dry
Nothing left to our children
Save to lay down and die


There is a power in the words
Of fanatics and bitter men
Who long for power to make
The world fit their dreams

There is a strength in the actions
Of those who seek these things again
Who try and bring back the Old World
But not all is as it seems

There are heroes in the land
Who will fight such a sin
Nameless, faceless, wanderers
Who fight no matter what Fate deems

Echoes of yesteryear fly by
Howling through the night
Chilling us to the very bone
Blasting us with their might
For every one who fights them
Who would give up life and hope
Are ten evil men who will never
Cease to grasp and grope

For the Echoes of Yesteryear

Everyday I think about what you did to me,

and I laugh,

You really did a number on me and I never saw it coming,
Good for you,

I put my all into us, you took me on the ride of my life
I thank you,

at first I was hurt and betrayed,
Now I'm just releived,

My life is a lot duller now,
But at least the ones screwing me over are honest about it.

So here's to you and your new life,
I hope you find somebody a little more gullable next time.

"Mist Mornings"

months were always too short
it rained eternally
yet froze suddenly like death
time ran out
leaving me dry and alone here
left me feeling the cycle of life dully repeated
in the song of a dying bird
days like this
came in pairs to haunt me
fog ran thick in sheets rolled over white hills
in a land i have never been since
i would step in puddles
to be sure they had bottoms
for there has never been
a bottom to my soul
trapped in mysticism,
i could not capture these days
i could not capture these woods
somewhere in my mind,
a ghost girl screams, to tell me stories
of a life i once lived
but i have grown past
and i will lift the bird
lifeless from the ground
to feel the bird, to will its heart
to beat again
for my heart has never stopped beating
and in the midst of this,
i see the cruelty again
rising to greet me,
it is not death, but life
with her needle fingers come
to lift me from my sleep
again away from the mists
to lift me again into
the land of the waking

I cradle your warm body in my arms as we lay there together watching T.V.
We smile at the same naughty jokes but dare not laugh,
We chuckle obscenely at Jerry,
And then I look into your eyes as you look up at me and our hearts skip a beat or three

Words don’t matter to us in private but the sound of I love you is always welcome,
As I feel what you feel and you feel what I feel,
Life takes on a whole new purpose
And as we lay upon the couch basking in our love,
We have something new to share
As we have shared each other both body and soul,
We now have a new life to share.

--A frog is a frog. by Alderach--

A frog is a frog,
In the gentelest way
A frog is a frog,
If it dosent decay...

A frog is a Frog,
on youre avaradge day
A frog is a Frog,
In the gentelest way

A frog is a Frog,
A rose is a rose,
When frog eats the rose
Does he become one too?

A frog is a Frog,
Its not his fault,
He was born that way
By default

A frog is a frog,
Naee i hear you say
But yes it is,
In a gentle way

A frog is a frog!
In December too
A frog is a Frog
How about you?

Don't get upset, my feathered friend,
Your post did not result,
In any feelings of ill will,
Or any form of insult.
You see, I knew that you,
Were having some Reaker fun,
Two brains cells? Hardly!
Coz I have only one!                                                    

hee hee                                                    

Cheers from the Land of Oz

Water

Splash
and the ripples come
like tiny tiny hurricanes
swimming over my dry blond hair
and I surface from the blow
only to lose the sand beneath my feet
and fall into serenity again.

Night Life

Come forth creature of the night
Come and save me from the light
Teach me to endure the pain
Teach me how to summon rain
Teach me how to hurt and heal
All you know, to me, reveal
For I have learnt and paid the cost
The price you pay for innocence lost
Let me hide from the light of day
For I know in darkness lies the way
As I pray the Lord my soul to keep
I pray He takes me in my sleep
I pray I die before I wake
To end this pain for heaven's sake
Come, my friends, to me this night
And lead me back into the light.

--------------

And Ymir, people in glass houses... (ie get back to work yourself) jk
:-)

Avagoodweekend.

Oceans Away

The tides are changing,
I'm pulled out to the sea
Earth turns to sand
Swept away, I could not let it be.

The waters are calm
As if they might know   
To a higher plain
I long to go.

Plunged into the darkness
As black as my soul
A voice that is distant   
One thats taken it's toll.

Held powerless to fight
the sea takes it's hold
Had I not been so foolish
A different truth would be told.

New senses awaken
I try to struggle to the top.
The awakening too late
Soon this life will stop.

A new life awaits
on the other side of the dark
One filled with happiness
A new light will spark

Once so very carefree
I ventured away from the light
I desperately hung on
But I lost the fight.

"Shadow Scissors"

From a few weeks back, not sure when. It has ripened to posting age.
*HUGS*

I am nothing more than a paper doll
Crafted with clever scissors and
Silhoutted on your wall.
Don't like my lies?
Cut my mouth out.
Don't like what you see?
Cut my eyes out.
Don't want to hear my cries?
Cut my throat out.
Don't like any of me?
Burn the monster out.
I am your own paperdoll,
Yes,
As you crumple me to pieces,
Try my dearest firefly,
Remember for your health,
Recall that i am yourself.


If you really loved me, you'd stop gnawing on my forehead.
And then you'd vote for me!

A message that haunts me
Out of the blue.
Your voice I keep hearing,
My thoughts are askew.

Nothing makes sense
Since this love has been born..
Best described as intense
To secrecy we're sworn.

Such a passionate mixture,
Both you and I
My fear is I'll lose you
Inspiration will die.

You've made me laugh
And made me cry
What sweet love we made
It's a natural high.

Feeling like I'm soaring
On enchanted wings
So filled with pleasure
Would be treasured by Kings.

Don't know where we're going
Only where we could go
Still lost in confusion
Wish you'd let me know...

Disturbing,
Haunting,
Watching her shed her wings.

The elegance,
The sorrow,
The cause unknown.

The secret smile
Sliding across her face.
The pain showing
Deep in her eyes.

I watch the angel
As she sheds what makes her,
Her.

Her white garments slide from her body,
Her skin perfectly bronzed.

A dark cloud sheds rain,
The wet darkening her auburn hair.

That smile becoming broader.
Changing into a grin.

A silvery laugh
Sprinkling the air.

Words that strike my heart,

“I love you, so I am leaving…”

Something always happens to come crashing down.
We were speaking of fun and happiness
And then he brought her up
A choke ran through his voice.
He signed off,
Less than five minutes later.
Just off the phone,
Telling me that I would be the only one.
Talking online,
She gets brought up again
Tears sting me again,
I haven’t cried in over a week
My heart hurts again,
A way that I never wanted to again
He yearns for her,
Tells me he wants me.
Tell him that I’ll be there in any way I can.
He signs off.

AcdQueen89My back hurts,
My sides aches.
My head,
Pounding, pounding
The pain lives on.

The classic depressed poetry.
I have to find a change.
Something happy...
no, but just not sad.
Depression has done me in.

The classic cutter who's managed to stop,
Relapse into pills.
Only so long till i die.

Classic misunderstood child,
living in dark.
trying to talk,
trying to stop.

Classic depressed girl
sitting on pins & needles

Two little safety pins

Dfu

Golden in color

The rapeing and the maiming

Mean so much

Kill destroy

Words can’t explain it

Pillage

The power with in

Plunder

The memories, the joy

Hoe

I can’t even say it here

The Making of an Untitled Poem

This first draft was written June 15, 2003, and is by far the longest of all versions. It is also the only version to come to a bitter end with the Gin Blossoms reference "Congratulations, I'm sorry".
We stare at the ceiling
When we're looking for love
We sell our soul to below
And ask forgiveness from above

I'm tired of the silly fights
Tired of the bragging rights
And my love lies sleeping
While I stand by weeping

I stare at the walls
Looking for a lesson to learn
I gave my heart away
Guess it's not your concern

I'm sorry that I took your time
Sorry I thought you were mine
Congratulations
You win
Congratulations
I'm sorry again

This draft, written the next day, sees the second and fourth paragraphs removed, and a tacked on ending that trails off, unaccounted for. The wording of the second paragraph changed as well, keeping the observational tone of the first paragraph, rather than turning personal.

We stare at the ceiling
When we're looking for love
We sell our soul to below
And ask forgiveness from above

We stare at the walls
Looking for a lesson to learn
We give our hearts away
Like it's not our concern

I don't sleep
I'm so tired
I don't eat
I'm so hungry

Over two months would pass before the final version was written, removing the tacked on ending in favor of a personal observation in line with the rest of the poem.

We stare at the ceiling
When we're looking for love
We sell our souls to below
And ask forgiveness from above

We stare at the walls
Looking for lessons to learn
We give our hearts away
Like it's nobody's concern

I stare out the window
Looking for her at the door
But she doesn't walk
By here anymore

Falling (? I have not really named it yet)

I entered into the room alone.
Seemed that was the way of me,
Isolated, wherever I went.
You did not notice me,
Seemed that was the way of me,
To never be noticed.
I tried to talk to you,
To enter into your life.
I would be ignored.
Seemed that was the way of me.
To glance into the mirror
And question,
Does non-existence have a reflection?
Nobody is who I was to you.
Insignificant is what I became
To me.
Seemed as if I was damned
Sinking towards death
Vanishing into the murky darkness
Swallowing me whole.
Some would not know
That darkness has substance
Like quick sand
The more you fight
That faster you fall
Seemed that was the way of me
To know
To fall

K.A.Stryker © June 2000

-----------------
Well...thank-you for reading it...
Blah :(

(I do) What I do (22/09/00 - 24/09/00)

Well, I'm doin' my walk
While I'm walkin' down 5th Avenue
Yeah, I'm speakin' my talk
While I'm standin' here talkin' to you

Well, I do what I do
And I say what I say
And there ain't no way
You're puttin' me away
Today

Well, I'm givin' my look
When I look at people go
Yeah, I say what I think
When I think about people I know

Well, I see what I see
And I think what I think
And there ain't no way
You're sendin' me to a shrink
Today

Well, I hear what they say
When they are talkin' 'bout you
Yeah, they say what they hear
When they tell me what you do

Well, I hear what I hear
And you do what I do
But there ain't no way
I'm comin' back to you
Today

No way
No way
Not today

Well, I'm doin' my walk
While I'm walkin' down 5th Avenue
Yeah, I'm speakin' my talk
While I'm standin' here talkin' to you

Well, I do what I do
And I say what I say
And there ain't no way
You're gonna put me away
Today

No way
No way
Not today

S is for the saturated fats that leak out when it's fried.
M is for the migranes I got - God I nearly died,
E is for the entrails that caused my gut to churn
E is for the encephalytus that caused my brain to burn,
T is for the taste of it, it is Terrifyingly tart,
O, if I had another line I could use the word "fart".                                                    

L is for the life, I risked for taking a bite,
I is for the insecurity it brought, my, I got a fright!
T is for the terror and the ickness and the pain,
E is for the ebola virus, the most deadly type of strain.                                                    

Just thought you'd like to know what's being left out of the Smeet discourse.                                                    

Cheers from the Land of Oz

The light is red
I sit and wait
Who's that next to my car?
Is that a screwdriver in his hand?
Hey you! Get back here with my hubcaps!

Her Story

And so I read her story
And I felt kinda sad
I almost stayed up all night
And cried for the times she had

'Cause it reminded me of us
And it reminded me of you
It reminded me of times gone by
And things we used to do

And so I had to sit down
And close my jaded eyes
I've seen one too many nights
Where the love around us dies

And it reminded me of us
And it reminded me of you
It reminded me of tears I cried
And ones I wanted to

And so she can't explain it
But I know how she feels
It doesn't always hurt like this
But it never really heals

And it reminded me of us
And it reminded me of you
It reminded me of what we had
And all that we went through

In the morning,
I promptly fall out of bed
Stand back up
And bump my head
Dive for the alarm clock
To stop its hideous sound
And land on the thumbtacks
I left laying around
Crawl to the bathroom
To change clothes and brush hair
And realize neither clothes nor brush
Are in there
I resort to brushing my teeth
But i can't find the paste
Finally find my homework
Under a pile of cat waste
Go to kill the cat
And he scratches me til i bleed
And as the bus breezes past my window
I say 'Great, just what i need!'
I don't bother with a band-aid
Just grab my bag and head out the door
Screaming at the top of my lungs,
'I don't wanna go to school no more!'
Course, my english teacher overhears this
And chastises my grammar
My blood starts to boil,
and i'm tempted to wham her
But i take a deep breath,
and head to homeroom
And hope that the day'll
be over quite soon.

Ode to the Abandoned Quarter

Out in the parking lot I saw him,
Laying face down in the rain.
Such a waste- he was born in 1973
Who did this to you, George?
Why did they leave you here, cold and alone and forgotten?

I will take you in for now, but later I will use you.
I don't mind your tails-up curse, because I will spend you.
I can't see your dented face, because I will horde you.
I can't care for you, but I will take you in for now.

So, George, relish in this sanctuary I now give you;
A false sense of security is security nonetheless.

Going Wrong

We're walking down dead end roads
Wondering what our future holds
I don't need my fortune told
To tell it's gonna go wrong

We're walking down one way streets
Wondering when our futures meet
I don't need a front row seat
To tell it's gonna go wrong

Than-you for you diligent work,
You made me very glad,
the two window situation,
For me was very bad.
Being a person of mature years,
And you may think this daft,
The two open window thing,
Was causing quite a draft.
So, thanks for providing comfort,
In an uncaring land,
It's good to have another old fart,
Around to understand.                                                    

Hee hee                                                    

Cheers from the Land of Oz

I am going to write down my latest poem...Just for me, to know that maybe someone out there will read it... :0)

So here it is...Oh, and thank-you for taking the time to read this...consider it just for you! *grin*

I feel empty inside
Empty
As if my soul,
slowing passing with my tears
Slowly
Getting empty inside

Lost
As if my path,
Being covered by growth
Covered
And loosing my way

Blind
As if my sight,
Getting dimmer each day
Darker
Without any light

I am not here
Gone
Only a seed
Lost in my memories
Past
Into the night

K.A.Stryker © 2000

hmm..yes....I should just mention, I really am a happy person...I just can't write happy poetry... :0)

"Aimlessly aimless and, always silly ole me"

"Winter's Babies"

 i was wet and falling
day turned death
like summer to winter
and seeing these tides ebb,
freeze as it were,
i no longer felt the need
to bear the misery
to let them shower their blossoms
of suffering eternal upon me
in the beginning the sun shone
in the end it will shine again
this does not mean
we are lacking rainstorms
or the barren bounty
of a scorned Mother Earth
in between this sunlight
But the moon soon shows new love
and though
i am wet and falling
and
day turns death
i know that i will begin anew
when the new sun brings with it spring
over the horizon
To melt the frozen tides
In the simple Sea of Tears

Broken Spirit

Everytime I think it's over
You lead to believe that it's only just begun
I'm running out of breathing room
Broke down, I've come undone.

You took me to higher place
Where I had not yet soared,
Your spirit kept me up there
When you left I hit the floor.

I know now, what I should have known then
That I was just a game piece
To be boxed and stored away,
Only to be brought out, when you decide to play.

Don't want to be your game piece,
Nor your puppet on a string
My feelings for you very real
Your wanting gaze now stings

I have to find the rest of me
Pick up the pieces that have shattered
If you knew what you have done
Would it have really mattered?

You said: "I want to be with you"
Yet you never found the time
This game must end, and I will lose
You will not see me cry

My tears like rain, keep falling,
As I turn and walk away.
This heart can't take your mind games
I no longer want to play

A broken spirit, shattered heart
What more do you need to know?
I'm dead inside and speechless
I must now turn and go...

Broken Bridges

Everything inside of me builds
Bridges to breaking points
One more vessel straining for air
Bursts forth in the deathly sea
Of this mortal incarnation.
Meanwhile I continue to dig
Trenches in the fabric of my life
Deeper i get the less I remember
To breathe and the more i seem to recall
Hurtful days of the flesh.
Million helping hands and I'd never reach
Out to the break of dawn
Breaking is for ones who stand tall
Die in the dark but i'll never bend
Never admit a weak human spine.
My mere humanity is a vessel for my humiliation
Tool to help with the degradation of self
All I know/want/love in life
Ends up in a crumbled pile at my scarred feet,
Mighty bridges fallen so far, so fast.

I must guard my heart
I can not let it go where it wills
It would be unseemly
You were but kind and friendly
To an old fool
Who hasn't known that much kindness
You caught me up in friendship
Stunning me with inner beauty
Long before I ever saw you
Your words fill this old fool
With delight and wonderment
For how can someone like you
Be my friend?
I am your knight,
And I shall be with you
In the old style of courtly love
Guarding you against ill will
Being your friend and loving it
And stepping aside when the one
You are promised to takes your hand
I am an old fool
And I must guard my heart..

No Worries Poem

Home again no worries.
Night school again no worries.
Another long day no worries.
Dirty dishes stacked no worries.
Bone weary numb no worries.
No job today no worries.
No sleep lately no worries.
Caffeine jangled nerves no worries.
Empty fridge yawns no worries.
Dead silent rooms no worries.
Noise from the street no worries.
Head in hands no worries.
Neighbors hear no screams no worries.
No witnesses no worries.
Go to bed no worries.
Bury the body deep.


No worries.

Like an Angel

Like an angel in disguise
She pulls a veil across my eyes
And she says, "There's a place I know"
"Where we can rest our weary souls"

And when the strain becomes too much
And you feel like you burn when you touch
She says, "There's a place I know"
"Where we can heal our heavy souls"

Like an angel without wings
She falls up when she sings
She says "There's a song I know"
"That can mend our broken souls"

And when two lights collide
And you feel you're along for the ride
She says, "There's a song I know"
"That can peel our painted souls"

A few months ago I stated,
About the Unwashed clan,
That there were many literary members,
Coming close to hand.
But now that theories proven,
With the likes of you,
But I won't leave out Kynes either,                                                   

I'm impressed with his work too.
The quality of the stuff penned here,
Is in it's glory days,
The things that I am reading here,
I, they never fail to amaze.
I think that a few of the Unwashed,
Have tagged the Literary Perk,
You guys contribute all you want,
You're doing some fantastic work.                                                    

Cheers from the Land of Oz                      

Can't Keep Her

You can buy her flowers
Pick her up around seven
You can be sure that
She'll be home before eleven

You can take her out, but
You can't keep her, no
You can take her out, but
You can't keep her, oh

You park across the street
Walk her to her door
She says don't call her
She can't see you anymore

You can take her out, but
You can't keep her, no
You can take her out, but
You can't keep her, oh

And the day will come
When you'll confess your love
She'll look you in the eye
And say it's not enough

You can fall in love, but
You can't keep her, no
You can fall in love, but
You can't keep her, oh

Dancing under the mystic moon I sense the earth’s vibrations.
I move in a time and rhythm of the wind,
carelessly going, heedlessly heading
into that unknown.
With song in my soul, always dancing, moving,
searching for a partner.
Someone who knows the tune, follows my steps,
as we flow on unaware
harmonizing to a beat all our own.

Did I mention I hate my life?

You smile
Sweetly
Softly
Kindly
Sadly

The words
Kind
Soothing
Crushing
Familiar

My heart
Sinks
Quietly
Slowly
Broken

Reply
Yeah
Sure
I understand
Lies

More words
I hate
Annoying
Automatic
Ignored

Reply
Of course
Mmm hmm
Sure
Lies

Come home
Alone
Tired
Want to die
Did I mention I hate my life?

Third Stage of Something

In the third stage of something
Where all the lonely lovers cry
In the third stage of something
We're still stuck trying to get by

In the third stage of something
Where something's always gonna go wrong
In the third stage of something
We're still trying to get along

In the third stage of something
Is this really happening?
In the third stage of something
Baby, I can't feel a thing

Do what? I ask with glee,
I really don't understand,
I just write what's in my head,
Whatever comes to hand.
Ymir                                                    

It's nice to have another member,
And while I'm on an energy burst,
I'd like to welcome you to our group,
Let me be the first.
There's just one little problem,
You'll find it rather soon,
Something about a pointed stick,
And a member that we call Doom.                                                    

We are a wonderful group of folks,
So join the Unwashed bus,
May you have an enjoyable time,
And have some fun with us.            

"compulsion"

digging, digging, digging your own grave,
dirt under nails is all that we save.
burn down, burn down, burn down the world,
rise from the ashes, three-second girl.

think you're something special? think you're really great?
think again, you'll end up on the ground prostrate
begging for just one more day to fix all the times
you fucked yourself up with your own mind

always racing for oblivion, crying for an end
breaking, breaking, breaking all this skin again.
always going to be the anti-breathing girl,
burn, burn, burn yourself down,
but don't scream to the world.

Where I Belong

Hello
Where am I?
I don't remember
Did I die?

This ain't heaven
This is hell
It's just as well
This is where I belong
This ain't good
This is bad
It's so sad
This is where I went wrong

Hello
What's this place?
I don't remember
Do I know your face?

This ain't heaven
This is hell
It's just as well
This is my new home
This ain't good
This is bad
It's so sad
This is where I roam

Hello
Who are you?
I don't remember
What did you do?

This ain't heaven
This is hell
It's just as well
This is where I belong
This ain't good
This is bad
It's so sad
This is where I went wrong

I would laugh with joy as you gave me the wonders of the world wrapped up in a box,
then cry in delight as I set them free.

Hiding nothing that I am, passionate my nature; I do everything to extreme.
Fight, love, want and need.

Strong desires to believe the things I know are truth.
I also long for dreams.

I will always require a firm foundation to live my life,
with stairs to my castle in the clouds.

This is who I am,
this is me.

Now, listen here you moral ingrate,
Put your pencil away,
That's not a nice thing to say to a principal,
In the middle of the day.
I deal with sharpened pencils,
As a matter of daily course,
I break them with utter contempt,
I'll shout it 'till I'm hoarse.
I am a walking pencil sharpener,
I'll take it off of you,
And sharpen in to razor standards,
Then with it I'll intimidate you.
Further, for your bit of malarkey,
And acting like a fool,
You'll have to write, "I must be nicer",
A thousand times after school.                                                    

;)
Cheers from the Land of Oz

I am shattered
I am broken
my heart
is just a
token,
a tiny little
bauble,
a trinket,
perhaps a locket
with a picture
of a locket
inside
where I and
a sweetheart
should reside,
yet there is
just a locket
inside a locket,
inside
where all my heart
should reside,
a locket
just a locket
empty inside.

untitled-

Tumbling, falling,
dropping,
to wake with a start
in a cold sweat.
Vertigo pulled me
over the edge
and then I fell.
Approaching the earth
at a rapid speed.
The sheets tangled
around my legs,
As sweat drips
from my brow,
awake now, I can
still see my
helpless body falling.
Down,
down,
down into a
bottomless pit.
My arm dangles
over the edge
of the bed,
and again I am
in sleep.
Being pulled towards something,
towards the edge,
the edge of the roof.
Standing on the edge
looking down,
down to the busy
street below.
With one last breath,
taking one small step
onto a fluffy little cloud,
then nothing but
tumbling, falling,
dropping.
But this time I awake
with a start
to a white light,
a bright place
where I am
surrounded in warmth
and others in white
like me.
Never to be afraid again.

~Ciara, 9/11/97

Your eyes on me
Anticipating, Loving
Seeing deep into my soul, touching it
Warm, fiery fingers
Soothing my pain, hurtful memories
gone, ashes, purified.
Your lips, parted,
whispering my name, a secret love
forbidden ecstasy
No one will understand
No one is here, in our world
together, we are one in our world
Your lips meet mine, a hot rush
in my veins like molten lead
extremeties tingle with fire,
breathless with desire, with love
heart aching, pounding for you
My Angel, My Lover
Your love makes me who I am
makes me whole
complete.
My Angel

My Misery

My misery
You're so good to me
And I've missed you so
Since you left me

My misery
You're so good to me
Gave me a reason to cry
When I didn't know why
Oh, my misery

I'll see you later
I put an add in the paper

Young man
Looking for
Someone to be miserable with

My misery
You're so good to me
And I've missed you so
Since you left me

"lint dreams"

lint
stuck in my throat
caught in my lungs
not that
i could breathe anyway
in the blistering sun
not that i
would want to breathe
deep beneath the surface
of a water dream
i would let go
only if i wanted
to fall again
and i'd cling to
these things if they
crushed me
and only if they
really would do it
bravely
With lint in their eyes

This poem is about language
and all that junk
(bunk you think)
Look at it watching you. You look out
the window, fidget, glance
at your shoelace,
think backwards in Arabic.
These words just bounce - boing -
off your eyeball
into airy trampoline space.
You miss it. It misses you.

Sadly this poem wants to be understood,
will loiter outside the door of your mind
scratch softly, shyly
shed similies and syllables
purr in iambs
drop its paradoxes into a pond even.

How could you ignore it?
You bastard. Let it in.

Dead End Streets

You never listened
And you still haven't learned
I'm walking down dead end streets
I'm sleeping on tearstained sheets

You never noticed
You've still got no one
All I wanted was some sympathy
And a little bit of company

I've got no one now
I'm no one now

You never thought twice
And you still don't get it
I want to run away
I want to have my say

But you never listen
And you still haven't learned
I'm walking down dead end streets
And sleeping on tearstained sheets

See, the atomic banana of yesterday,
Read your intuitive poetry,
And was miffed by what it read,
Too clearly do you see.
So, it implanted the creative seed,
Inside Uncle Lerk's head,
So, now you are marked forever,
With an atomic banana instead.
Whenever you walk past a fruit shop,
To the other bananas it shall sing,
You will be powerless to stop it,
You cannot do a thing.
Think of the embarassment you'll suffer,
As you walk by there,
Your nose will frighten children,
People will stop to stare.                                                    

And you think YOU drink too much coffee.                                                    

From the legal department -                                                   

Ymir is not slagging off,                                                   

just having a good natured jibe.                                                   

Any miffedness or insults taken were                                                   

not intended and shall remain the sole                                                   

property of the developer.                                                    

Cheers froms the Land of Oz      

Warm Glow

The sun came out today,
And I smiled.
I glow in its warmth.
I am filled with joy,
As we lay before the fire
On a blanket so soft,
And you hold me in your arms.
This is where I belong,
When you look into my soul,
I feel the sun.

K.A.Stryker
Septemeber 6, 2001

Cold

I am so very cold
As I pull my sweater around me,
Looking for some warmth.
When I turn to you,
Your arms are like ice,
And inside I get colder.
Your eyes make me shiver,
No flame inside there.
And I crawl under the blankets,
Shivering,
Thought the room is warm,
And I know it’s all inside.
So I close my eyes and dream,
I dream of a sun beam,
That carries me away.
And I dream that you care.

K.A.Stryker
September 6, 2001

You hold me captive
At your command
My body trembles
With the touch of your hand

Soft sweet whispers
As you hold me tight
Tender kisses
Through the night

Our thoughts connect
Though no words are said
You finish my sentence
My mind is read

We'll soon be together,
Never to part
You're my lifes breath
You've stole my heart

I'll love you forever
Till the end of time
Tom, I am yours
And you are mine.

Hurt Me So

Oh, I haven't forgotten
All the good times we had
But I haven't forgotten
All the times you made me sad

And I'm so sorry, baby
But you've got to go
You're no good for me
You just hurt me so

No, I haven't forgotten
All the next times we'd try
But I haven't forgotten
All the times you made cry

And I'm so sorry, baby
But you've got to go
You're so bad for me
You just hurt me so

Oh, I haven't forgotten
The broken promises we'd mend
But I haven't forgotten
You were the one that broke them in the end

And I'm so sorry, baby
But it's time for you to go
You gotta let me get over you
Instead of hurting me so

I am a closet Diablo fan,
I've played it for over a year,
I no longer tread lighly through dungeons,
I enter without fear.
Now, don't think I'm a big headed one,
I'm not going to do that,
I'm just saying I've played it many times,
And fun is where it's at.
Once you've finished the first few quests,
The quests can be hard to find,
You can yell and scream and search,
And kick the townsfolk's behinds,
But the quests sometimes are not there,
It's part of every game,
Diablo is randomly generated each time,
Differences in each new game.
So, once you've finished a quest or level,
Talk to the folk in town,
If that gives you no new quests,
The you must go down -
No, not on the people of Tristram,
Down to the next dungeon level you go,
There are many experiences to be had,
Your character shall grow.
On that subject, it's worthy to note,
That level is not related to quests,
You can get them at any level that you are,
You get them at your behests.
Once you've enterred the gloomy caves,
An entrance shall then be near,
When you visit in Tristram next,
Inside the mausoleum peer.
It's located next to the church,
Beside the many graves,
It's bigger than the other ones,
Your time it often saves.
The level groups in Diablo are,
The cathedral on one through four,
The catacombs on five through eight,
And caves on the ninth through twelth floors.
Then hell comes in on thirteen,
With sixteen at the end,
Then here's the odd hidden level,
To drive you round the bend.
I take it that you've been to level four,
And not used the level stair,
Use them to go to level five,
The game shall go on from there.
One level five you may have quests,
Depending on the game,
Two are available there,
Both are far from tame.
Quests are available then,
On levels 6 through 10,
Then on 13 through 16,
They come back again.
I hope that I have expalined some stuff,
And not served you to confuse,
But when I comes to Diable,
It's impossible not to enthuse.
I love Fallout playing too,
They're similar in ways,
I'm a PC playing junky,
It siphons off my days.
So, thanks for the opportunity,
To rhyme off both your ears,
I'll leave you from the Land of Oz,
And off you this - Cheers!