Night Owl leered at the frightened class,
And took off his battered coat,
He surveyed them with hawkish intent,
Then ludly cleered his throat,
" Now class, sit right down,
And all you listen here,
Today I will be instructing you,
In the Art of Drinkin' Beer.
Firmly grasp the frosty glass,
Tip it on an angle,
Firmly pour the ale inside,
Do not let a drop dangle,
Gently clasp the glass's handle,
Stee your mind as well,
Tip the contents down your throat,
Then let out a mighty yell.
Leer lewdly across the room,
Pull out the verse of bards,
Inquire how you're going up to this,
And if a er ......
And if romance is on the cards.
That's how you consume your ale,
Now it's off to the bar,
For practice is what makes perfect,
And buying my drinks will get you far."
Down in the murky depths they plunged,
Inebriation looming near,
"Holy shit! Run away!
The principal;s found us here!"
"Relax, oh, you uninformed,
And grab us all a beer,
That Bastard may be the principal,
But right now he's just Ymir."
I appreciate your state of mind,
This point in your eventful life,
I can only imagine your pains,
Your anguish and your strife.
But piercing your flippin' tongue?
If it's what you wish to do,
You must be guided by your heart,
And also logic that is true.
You know the pain and side effects,
The health risks are also there,
But these seem to be a minority,
So about them you may not care.
I'm too conservative to call this one,
Other than ear-rings turn me green,
Let alone tongue or even eyebrow,
or through parts that can't be seen.
But as for me I'm in the negative,
Too boring and staid by far-
It's not what we see that describes us,
It's our actions that define who we are.