Falling

More a collection of words than a poem, but it's something that I can't conform to a style. I think it speaks for itself.
 And I feel myself
Falling
Back to that place
Where nothing matters
And down that hole
Where no one matters
Not even I
And I don't care.

But I don't want to fall
I've been there before
And I know it's so hard
Too hard
To climb out of that hole
But I'm trapped
My back's against the wall
And the only way out
Is down.

I guess I could stay
Right where I am
But if I do that
I won't get anywhere
And I can't help but feel
That there's more out there
More for me to see
More for me to be
But I'm trapped
With my back against the wall.

I just want to put
My head down and run
Anything, just to be moving
But what would I leave behind?
And I know if I move, I'll fall
And I won't get back up
But if I'm going nowhere anyway
Does it matter?
And how do you choose
Between a woman you can't live with
And a child you can't live without?

And would I be doing him any favours
By staying?
Or by going?
All about me the ground drops away
Wherever I turn
There is nothing
And if I ever find
The courage to move
I'll fall.