"match trails"

Think it's decentish though. Just one of those days. =P
"match trails"
look but you can't find
your simple piece of mind
a whisper in the dark
a match struck in a heart
burning at the fuse
both ends from fire lose
but i am made of ice
and i won't be broken twice
[never feared the flames
never feared the flames
never placed the blames
loved my match trails]
going or returning
to lead or to follow
giving without receiving
left empty and hollow
lie down your head
close down your mind
let's dig in the sorrow
and see what we find
years and knives and
two thousand eyes can't be wrong
you've seen my suffering
and have called me strong
seething for the comments
twisting for the word
strong strong strong
you're thinking of another girl
but as pathetic and weak
my soul is made of ice
hold me to the flame
but i won't burn twice
[arsonistic snow girl
born in the blizzards
with a torch and a mind
burning and seething
arsonistic snow girl gone blind]
a gift without a tag
a mark without a cause
three scars on a leg
reminiscent of dirty claws
lie down your head
close down your eyes
let me wrap you in my hurt
it should come as no surprise
emotionally attractive
emotionally taxing
theoreoretically beautiful
or sullen girl waxing
boys on my left
and boys on my right
and fear in my head
and fear in my night
[never feared the flames
never feared the flames
it's the faces and the names
it's the shadows playing games
it's the monster under the bed
it's the demon in my head
arsonistic snow girl
autistic snow girl
gone so far she's gone so blind
burned again and again
by an inflamed mind]
i look but i can't find
a simple piece of mind
never content to stand still
always change and always will
like a catalystic cyclone
destroy all in my path
and wonder why i'm alone.
[snow girl snow girl
can you find your way home?]

"Ehh. Poem. "Diligence""
Why should I..?
How could I..?

when did she die...?
when did she decide
it was the best thing
to do...to throw her life
away, like so much refuse,
on someone she had no feelings
for...on someone she didn't
even pretend to want...?
why did she decide...to burn
away her future...
to consign herself to a fate
worse than death, that of
a loveless life...
when did she close her eyes
to the truth, when did she
find her self no longer herself...
when did she realize
she'd been brainwashed...?

When did the girl I loved so much
die...?
why did she cast her life
into the hands of someone else...
and let him kill her...?
why did she accept a fate
she didn't ever want,
even though she had a choice...?
why did she talk herself
into believing her own lies...?
why did she choose the fate
that turned her life into dust,
all for a person she hated...?
why did she decide to
throw her life away...?

and why do I care anymore...?

Nuerons crippled
Spastic thoughts
Oh God, no
It's happening again

Funny how it all
Works out like this
20 ounces
Eagds, that was pure caffiene

Now it's a good
Two hours
Past my bedtime
And I can't stop typing
My eyes are stapled open
Without staples, at that
I think my watch beeped
Three o'clock

Should I risk
Trying to sleep
Before work?
Will I wake in time?

Oh, hey she's online
I guess I'll talk to her
It's not like
I just saw her tonight
(Oh wait, I did)

Now it's pushing five
And I haven't shut my eyes
But it's okay
I'll just have some more caffiene

I'm pleased that I live in Oz,
Here it's 5 o'clock,
In the US it's 2 am,
My God! What a shock!
I sit here conversing with these people,
That are forgoing sleep,
They choose to be here instead,
Their commitment is so deep.

They patrol this place with diligence,
Bring wisdom to the board,
They post gems of literary skill,
Loyal to the horde.
They prop their heads up with pillows,
They fight to stay upright,
They are the pallid internet warriors,
The heroes of the night.
They sit with weepy eyeballs bulging,
Falling from their head,
They should be snoring loudly,
But they're here instead.
They drink coffee by the gallon,
Slap themselves across the face,
They pinch themselves regularly,
To make this a nicer place.
They sit on rusty thumbtacks,
It really works a treat,
They also incorporate electric shocks,
Into their spiky seat.
Then, when at least they leave,
To curl up in their beds,
They twitch to the HTML rhythms,
That swirl around in their heads.
You will recognise these cyber barbarians,
By their pallid skin,
If any of you ever need a holiday,
I will let you in.

Thanks to all who were around tonight. I really enjoyed the chats.

Cheers from the Land of the Sun

"Crowsong"

Not sure why I liked it so much, perhaps it's just my mood right now, but. *HUGS* Thanks for reading, i appreciate it. A comment might be nice also, if you have the time/words ;)
"Crowsong"
i want to sleep this guilt away
but i don't sleep
not like i used to
it wasn't meant for me
[black birds on my left side,
blue eyes on my right
if i could sleep at all
they'd still watch me at night
singing bitter
singing bitter crowsong]
but if we're talking about
what was meant for who
then this burden i carry, well
it should belong to you
why must we always burn the innocents?
why must we always kill the saints?
why can i not release the moment?
why can i not forget the face?
live in the shadows and die in the dark
but i don't know how to live
and i'm too afraid to die
no, i was meant to live on
but if we're talking about
what was meant for who
[if i could sleep at all
they'd still watch me at night
singing bitter
singing bitter crowsong
10 years with this
and i've learned to sing along]
then the one with the death brand
well that should have been you
no more killing innocence
no more smothering the good
i want no more nightmares of you
i want no more lies misunderstood
i want to drink my life away
but i don't drink
too many morals and not enough money
the deathwish escape of so many
but it wasn't meant for me
[aspire i to better glory
if i wanted to fall
well the crows wouldn't let me
i didn't ask for this grace
this grace
dis grace
scars on my arms and spite
etched on my face]
but if we're talking about
what was meant for who
then this agonization, well
it should belong to you
for destroying the innocent
for stealing the innocence
for utterly and totally
inflicting yourself
on the crow's baby
still screaming for help
all these fears and all these years
i won't live in the shadows
no, i'll suffer in the light
i hope you're blinded by the stones they throw
and devoured by the vultures
descended in the night
because if they know your evil
you've got no place to hide
i hang with the onlooking crows
singing a bitter song
there'll be no more destroying innocents.

My heart is beating far too rapidly,
I'm under some sort of sex,
I'm nervous, yet I'm elated,
it's like I'm having sex!
My website is up and running,
It's poetry through and through,
But there's a few other bits and pieces,
That just might interest you.
I've just had a terrible thought though,
This may be something I grow to hate,
With this bloody poem now,
It's already out of date!

So, drop in for a visit,
Bring some beer on ice,
But please be gentle with me,
It's my first - be nice!

Cheers from the Land of Oz

Hrm. Poem. Written while 99.88888888% unconscious. -_^"
LAST EDITED ON 10-12-00 AT 09:00 AM (GMT)
It spirals
downward,
twisting, turning,
sinking, burning,
crashing, swirling,
lamenting, whirling,
flashing into
eternity,
from this
mere existence,
beyond darkness
beyond lightness,
beyond corporeal
essences,
above simplicity
and complexity,
shattering barriers
never thought about,
hidden ones, invisible ones,
lost, forgotten ones,
mystical ones,
plain and simple ones,
forgotten lores
flame within,
burst forth to nowhere
on a whim
spiraling, twisting
burning, kissing,
a light touch
cold light
cool dark
soft carresses
of infinity,
wrapped inside
the insanity,
laced with proclivities,
desires,
hopes, dreams, broken
hearts,
never find a home,
when the emptiness
inside
can never be filled...
when it reverses itself
and begins to consume
everything...
and it spirals down...
twisting, turning,
sinking, burning,
crashing, swirling,
lamenting, whirling...
into...