I am shattered
I am broken
my heart
is just a
token,
a tiny little
bauble,
a trinket,
perhaps a locket
with a picture
of a locket
inside
where I and
a sweetheart
should reside,
yet there is
just a locket
inside a locket,
inside
where all my heart
should reside,
a locket
just a locket
empty inside.

untitled-

Tumbling, falling,
dropping,
to wake with a start
in a cold sweat.
Vertigo pulled me
over the edge
and then I fell.
Approaching the earth
at a rapid speed.
The sheets tangled
around my legs,
As sweat drips
from my brow,
awake now, I can
still see my
helpless body falling.
Down,
down,
down into a
bottomless pit.
My arm dangles
over the edge
of the bed,
and again I am
in sleep.
Being pulled towards something,
towards the edge,
the edge of the roof.
Standing on the edge
looking down,
down to the busy
street below.
With one last breath,
taking one small step
onto a fluffy little cloud,
then nothing but
tumbling, falling,
dropping.
But this time I awake
with a start
to a white light,
a bright place
where I am
surrounded in warmth
and others in white
like me.
Never to be afraid again.

~Ciara, 9/11/97

Your eyes on me
Anticipating, Loving
Seeing deep into my soul, touching it
Warm, fiery fingers
Soothing my pain, hurtful memories
gone, ashes, purified.
Your lips, parted,
whispering my name, a secret love
forbidden ecstasy
No one will understand
No one is here, in our world
together, we are one in our world
Your lips meet mine, a hot rush
in my veins like molten lead
extremeties tingle with fire,
breathless with desire, with love
heart aching, pounding for you
My Angel, My Lover
Your love makes me who I am
makes me whole
complete.
My Angel

My Misery

My misery
You're so good to me
And I've missed you so
Since you left me

My misery
You're so good to me
Gave me a reason to cry
When I didn't know why
Oh, my misery

I'll see you later
I put an add in the paper

Young man
Looking for
Someone to be miserable with

My misery
You're so good to me
And I've missed you so
Since you left me

"lint dreams"

lint
stuck in my throat
caught in my lungs
not that
i could breathe anyway
in the blistering sun
not that i
would want to breathe
deep beneath the surface
of a water dream
i would let go
only if i wanted
to fall again
and i'd cling to
these things if they
crushed me
and only if they
really would do it
bravely
With lint in their eyes

This poem is about language
and all that junk
(bunk you think)
Look at it watching you. You look out
the window, fidget, glance
at your shoelace,
think backwards in Arabic.
These words just bounce - boing -
off your eyeball
into airy trampoline space.
You miss it. It misses you.

Sadly this poem wants to be understood,
will loiter outside the door of your mind
scratch softly, shyly
shed similies and syllables
purr in iambs
drop its paradoxes into a pond even.

How could you ignore it?
You bastard. Let it in.

Dead End Streets

You never listened
And you still haven't learned
I'm walking down dead end streets
I'm sleeping on tearstained sheets

You never noticed
You've still got no one
All I wanted was some sympathy
And a little bit of company

I've got no one now
I'm no one now

You never thought twice
And you still don't get it
I want to run away
I want to have my say

But you never listen
And you still haven't learned
I'm walking down dead end streets
And sleeping on tearstained sheets