Time in the Bastard Bar

Night Owl leered at the frightened class,
And took off his battered coat,
He surveyed them with hawkish intent,
Then ludly cleered his throat,
" Now class, sit right down,
And all you listen here,
Today I will be instructing you,
In the Art of Drinkin' Beer.
Firmly grasp the frosty glass,
Tip it on an angle,
Firmly pour the ale inside,
Do not let a drop dangle,
Gently clasp the glass's handle,
Steel your mind as well,
Tip the contents down your throat,
Then let out a mighty yell.
Leer lewdly across the room,
Pull out the verse of bards,
Inquire how you're going up to this,
And if a er ......
And if romance is on the cards.
That's how you consume your ale,
Now it's off to the bar,
For practice is what makes perfect,
And buying my drinks will get you far."
Down in the murky depths they plunged,
Inebriation looming near,
"Holy shit! Run away!
The principal;s found us here!"
"Relax, oh, you uninformed,
And grab us all a beer,
That Bastard may be the principal,
But right now he's just Ymir."

Cheers from the Land of Oz

The Pointed Stick

Pointed stick I see you write,
I think that is quite odd,
With the technology available now,
It should be a cattle prod.
My only concern with this idea,
These many consonants and vowels,
Is that they often lose control,
Of their electrified bowels.

Cheers from the Land of Oz

Tink

Justify my existance?
Why does it bother you?
You've no right to ask that of me
So you must not have a clue.

For I am not your puppet,
Your own personal slave.
You're life I have not taken,
But a life to you I gave.

Please give credit where it's due
Is really all I ask.
I do everything with kids in tow
'Cause I can multi task!

Complain about my faceless friends
It's ok, you have that right
But do not battle wits with me,
You'll be in an unarmed fight!

Tink

Doombot

Lovely Lovely ICQ...
For what did I ever do to you...
Your newest version came so I hop
And now you messed up my Photoshop

I cannot edit, I cannot crop
You you messed up my Photoshop
I cannot color, or convert to black and white
Oh ICQ... you know that's just not right

And so I cry and see the stares
I would call Adobe but it was downloaded from easywarez
So this weekend Jen will have sat
And do the dreaded Format

If it were just Adobe this I could take
But now other programs did break
My mouse is ratty
the Tablet is batty

So I must remember to save all my dateI love
Like the theme song from Dr. Strangelove
The Batman Theme will also be save like a priceless momento
That and the best of Dr. Demento.

For as a Web Designer I need my tools
For without them My work looks like a fool
So wish me lots and lots of luck
And pray I won't lose my temper and go "Oh ----"

;)


Doombot

Bubonic 1

As I sit and listen to the sound
of the Hard Drive spinning round and round
and the barking of my neighbour's hound
I remember all the fun I found,

When I first got my Commodore,
And through the packing tape I tore.
But soon I started getting sore,
Until I discovered Run/Stop Restore.

That magic little combination
Which was to be my salvation
And came to be the foundation
Of ending almost all frustration

I remember when the asterisk
Was closer to "enter" than to the 6
When we got our 8-bit kicks
And Amstrad owners were heretics

I would arrange the room just right
So I could play on through the night
When with sleep I fought my hardest fight
And a new game was my most welcomed sight.

When over the horizon came the sun,
When all was said and all was done.
Never could I forget the fun
That began with comma 8 comma 1.

But a whole new world opened to me
When my neighbour first got his XT
With a monochrome monitor that couldn't be
Better than my colour TV?

But slowly I enticed my hand
To enter mouse and keyboard land
Though the games seemed quite bland
Until I encountered the great WASTELAND!

But that's a whole other story...

Bubonic the UV Rat